Failed prediction and not enough clothing

Well my prediction yesterday that today would be especially crowded was wrong. It is strangely quiet on the subway today too. However, I thing that because it is Friday. On to my next subject…

Ladies, let me talk to you for a minute. Especially the lady sitting across from me on the train right now. Ladies, it is time to let go. Those little tops with the built in bras were meant for you 8 sizes ago.

I know “you’ve always worn them,” but that was back when you were in middle school. Take a look in the mirror. If your waist looks like a freshly popped tube of Pillsbury biscuit dough, maybe it is time to NOT wear that top.

Also, if each of your breasts are larger that a toddler, you need to wear a bra at all times outside of your home. This is for the safety of those around you.

No matter what your girlfriends say, it isn’t sexy to show off your muffin top. It says, “I am a tramp who is too cheap to replace thee jeans I bought in 1996.”Help all of your fellow passengers keep their breakfasts down, and put on some bigger clothes!Live from the subway, back to you in studio…