Close, but No Cigar

WARNING:  This is a poo related story, using some poo humor.  It is a true story, but thought you should be warned.

Ok, this has absolutely nothing to do with the subway, but it was so unreal, I had to share it.

So I took a little trip to Shake Shack in Madison Square Park this afternoon.  Had a couple brewskies before getting there, and had to make a tinkle.

Luckily, they have that fancy new electronic pay toilet there.  I was so pumped.  I had seen it on TV, but never had the pleasure of partaking in the experience.

So there was a line.  Only two people in front of me.

An older man went in and took his time.  Not obnoxiously long, but long.  Maybe he couldn’t find the button to get out of there.  Who knows.

Anyway, there was a woman in front of me with her boyfriend.  She was doing the pee pee dance which was funny because I’ve never seen a 30 year old do that.  Anyway, there was a clear look of desperation in her eye.

Well, the door opened, and the man emerged, but no relief for the woman.  Why?  The rinse cycle.  The entire bathroom gets a spraydown between each use.  The door closes.

Well, she inches over to the control panel where you insert your 25 cents.  Still dancing.

Then.

Plop.

I look back over to see that she is literally crapping her shorts.  Right before my eyes.  A grown, normal looking woman has poo falling from her shorts onto the sidewalk. 

I was in just as much shock as her I think.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

She finally made it in there.  I had to pull out my camera, because I was going to have to tell this story, and no one was going to believe me.  No one would believe that she was literally inches away from the toilet, and dropped a load on the sidewalk.

The experience will probably haunt my dreams.  Then again, it was a crappy day for her.  (Ohhh pun intended.  Couldn’t help myself.)