I Fought with a Bum Today
Sort of. Also, it turns out you can’t blog about it on your Blackberry while you are in the process of screaming at a scrawny bum.
Anyway, this morning it was raining pretty hard as we all know. On my train, there was an open window that obviously had water leak down it and formed a puddle in one of the seats.
Unfortunately, I found myself standing directly in front of that seat. I didn’t want the seat, but saw the open space. So I spent much of the ride trying to explain to old ladies that they couldn’t sit there because of the puddle, as they pushed me out of the way.
About half way to my stop, a skinny a-hole homeless guy got on the train screaming . F-this and F-that. Screaming at random people to get the f out of his way. What are they looking at. Then telling women he could see down their tops. A real specimen.
Little eagle-eye spotted the open seat and squirmed his way though the packed train car where I (and others around me) said the seat’s wet. Note: I’m standing almost close enough for my shins to touch the front edge of the seat, that’s how packed the train is. I’m at mid car, near the middle doors. The wet seat is one spot in from the end of the bench.
So he comes in from my left and reaches down to the seat and brushes the puddle of water off the seat onto the front of my pants! Like a big, fast wiping action to flick the water off. He only got about half of the water off the seat when he started to spin around to sit down.
At first I was in shock, but then I said, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I will leave the rest to your imagination. I don’t want to go into any details, but he was not on board the train when we left the next station.
I have a fairly high tollerance for these guys because clearly they have mental problems. However, when you are saying things like he said and splashing water on me, it really gets to the point where action needs to be taken.
No details? You gave every gruesome detail of the woman crapping her pants at Madison Square Park (including a video of the poo), but won’t get into details about your bumfight? Come on….
Replyvivid picture you just painted there. but you gotta give the rest….
ReplyOk I think gruesome might be a bit much.
As far as the rest of the details, the last thing I want to do is give a crazy person any ammunition to make a bigger issue out of the situation You never know. All I need is this bum to take it to court with this written record.
At the same time, I’m not at all saying the missing part was that dramatic.
I’m just not going to put it in writing.
ReplyI hope you knocked him out. I would have.
ReplyYou physically assaulted this guy because your pants got a little wet? Try taking a deep breath next time instead.
ReplyTry smashing his head on the pavement next time, then throwing his ass on the tracks.
ReplyI was hoping for more details. Some of them carry spent aids needles to prick you with if you go near them. And they might hold up the needle, look you right in the eyes, and stab the lady closest to them. Just like son of sam, david chapman, john hinckley, people with known mental problems that could be a danger to themselves or others should be on a special leash. I think that is one area where China has the upper hand. How many innocent victims have there been in the subway system from a dirt bag mental patient pushing someone in front of a train?
ReplyMan, it takes forever to get rid of bum-stink…
ReplyDon’t leave anything to our imagination. Tell us what happened. Otherwise you’re jerking us around.
ReplyYou should have given him a blow job.
ReplyI feel your pain man. This type walks about the system like they own it and the rest of us owe them something. On my way back home today this bum was sprawled over 3 seats while the rest of us stood and tried to car jump ASAP to get away from the stink.
ReplyI feel your pain man. This type walks about the system like they own it and the rest of us owe them something. On my way back home today this bum was sprawled over 3 seats while the rest of us stood and tried to car jump
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