The only blog written from the NYC Subway system

So how often do you think a subway car is actually cleaned? I just touched a pole and could litterally feel the grease on it. I will look up the statistics on subway cleaning when I return to base camp. I’ll put an update here.

So anyway, the cars are dirty. There’s no other way to put it. Just gross. Generally, I try to NEVER touch the hand rails. You can SEE the hand juice on some of them. If you dare, run you finger down one of the poles. You can write your name in it!

I would imagine that the inside of the cars could easily handle a powerwasher. All you would need is to have a crew come in and spray the thing down from top to bottom, and its done. A couple of guys could wash an entire train out in under 20 minutes.

In the summer, you could just pull the train into your average tunnel, and leave all the doors open. The insane heat of the tunnel will dry it out in minutes. The whole process would leave a train out of service for 2 hours max.

Why am I not in charge of these things? Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Is there any more annoying sound than that of a crying baby? Not an infant baby (but I guess that could get old too). I mean a bratty toddler baby.

I suppose the only thing that makes me want to break things more than their screams is the idiot parents. These moron mothers that just sit there and don’t do anything while the kid screams! It would be one thing if the kid hit his head or something and had a legit reason to cry. But no. The kid is crying because he’s just a brat, and the mother let’s them keep screaming. These parents should be slapped.

Ohh and those parents that just let their kids go nuts on the subway should have their heads held in the door as it closes. You know those elementary school aged kids that yell and climb up on the seats. UUGGGHhhh. Again, the kid is annoying as hell, but it is the parent’ fault that they are allowed to behave that way. SUBWAYblogger’s parents would have knocked the snot out of us if we behaved like that.

So let’s all join together in an effort to do a little parenting. “It takes a village city” to scare these kids straight. So next time you see a little punk bothering the crap out of your fellow passengers, get up and do something. Whatever you decide to do, make it loud, and make it into a scene. Make sure that the parents see you do it. If they say something to you say, “Ohh I didn’t know he was your kid. He’s acting like a little shit so I figured he was on board alone.”

Together, we can make a difference.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

So I have to admit that I get a little kick out of the routines that the homeless guys pull on the trains when begging for change. I don’t get off on the fact that they are homeless, so relax! But, their little speeches and whatnot can be quite entertaining.

The fact is that 99% of the claims in their little rants are not at all true. They go on and on about how many kids they have, and how they can’t get in a shelter. Not true (most of the time).

The theatrical nature of their rants is quite good. If it weren’t for the stench, they would make excellent dramatic actors.

My favorite is when they go on and on about how it could happen to us. As if they were corporate CEO’s that developed a little love of the bottle, only to find themselves out on the streets overnight. Don’t think so pal. It probably can’t happen to most of us because we have a little thing called a job.

Hey, if a Mexican immigrant can swim across the Rio Grande with ten dollars in his pocket and still manage to pay the rent, why can’t YOU?

Ok, so this sounds completely insensitive. I get it, but the fact is that a large proportion of these guys are just idiots. They are mentally stable and capable of working. They just chose to screw around too much, and now they are on the street.

Personally, if I actually did end up homeless, I would immediately join the Navy. It is a job, a paycheck, a clean bet, and hot food. Plus, since it is the Navy, there isn’t much chance of combat (as compared to the Army). So, I could live, eat, sleep, and work on my aircraft carrier without having to worry about getting shot at. Few years later, back on my feet.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

SUBWAYblogger has somewhat of a soft spot for winter. The air is crisp, the city is decorated for the holidays, etc. Unfortunately, there’s about 45 minutes of actual daylight each day.

It does start to become depresing when you leave your apartment in the dark in the morning. Thenn you get off the subway, and it is only slightly brighter out. Go to work, and at the end of a long day, you walk outside…darkness.

If you are lucky enough to have a window in your office, you might catch a glance at the sun. At that point though, doesn’t it just seem like you’re going to see the sun at the zoo or something. I mean, the only time you ever see the sun in its natural environment is through a large window. It’s just a big, depressing exhibit at that point.

Well, the darkness is starting to set in. Each morning and evening as I head for the subway, it gets a little darker.

Ok wow, this is to damn depressing for this early in the morning. Hopefully something funny for the ride home. Later.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

I’ve made many posts where I mention that I’ve wound up on a car with no air conditioning. I’ve often wondered where the AC goes or why it isn’t functioning in those cars. Now, I have found the answer.

All of the missing AC is on the very car I am standing in right now. It has to be 40 degrees in here. It is down right freezing.

Have you ever been to “The Cold Room” at the Fairway up in Harlem? Basically, it is the biggest walk-in refrigerator you have ever seen. THAT is this car. You could easily store fresh meat in here for weeks.

I’m not really complaining. I do prefer a more brisk car than a hot, sweaty one. However, this may be pushing it slightly.

The subway air conditioning factory must have shipped the MTA a turbo model by mistake. Perhaps this company also makes the AC for the Super Dome, but they accidentally shipped it to NYC instead. Then, the city said, “What the hell, throw that S.O.B. on a subway, and get it the hell outta heeere.”

It could happen.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Today is Primary Day in New York, so take a few seconds out of your day to vote. It isn’t that painful. Ok, now that our civil obligation has been met, on to the good stuff.

I am shooting 1 for 3 today. First, jumped right into the car with no air conditioning. I swear it is the same car every time. I’ll have to pay attention to the number when I get off.

Even though I got in the no-AC car, I managed to run out, down the platform, and on to the next car before we left the station. I was impressed with my athletic ability.

Unfortunately, I ran right into a car with smelly homeless guy asleep in it. Shoot me. That is a smell that lingers with you all day. You can feel it getting into your clothes and hair. GROSS.

I don’t know why he was still on the train. He was in blatent violation of the rules. Everyone knows that the homeless dudes sleep on the subway overnight. However, the all usually get off before the morning rush. This guy didn’t get the memo.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Just how long does it take for the subway system to cool off? It seems like it took about an hour for it to heat up to 1000 degrees. So what give? It should be able to cool down just as quick.

Fall is in the air though! Of course, we will have a freak, mini heatwave I’m sure.

Changing gears…

Foreign chics have some “interesting” style choices. I’m staning in the doorway with a couple girls…I think they are Italian. One, whoa ugly, has a tie-die Mickey Mouse tank top on with low rise jeans and while velcro shoes. The other girl has a pretty normal top on but the lowest rise jeans I think I’ve ever seen. I can see 90% of her hips. Any minute now I’m sure we’ll see the old landing strip. That’s how low these things are. She’s skinny as a rail so she can pull it off.

Ok wow, I’m surrounded by weirdness. Across from me is what I thought was a tall sk8ter guy. Long hair. Looks like a missing Hanson brother. Skinny too. However, now I am fairly certain I am seeing breasts. Not man boobies because this “person” is waaay to thin for them. Wow. Ok… That’s enough subway for today.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Just as I was walking out of the apartment this morning, I heard the Penn Station is closed down. There is “police activity” on the Amtrack level of Penn Station. The LIRR and NJT traffic into and out of Penn has been suspened.

It is probably just a false alarm or precaution, but it certainly is not the way you want to start your day any day…let alone on 9/11.

I have no idea what that means for increased traffic on the subway, but I would imagine that it has at least some impact. People tend to jump over to the PATH trains to at least get themselves into the city. From there, you can at least get on the subway.

But guess what. You aren’t the only one who’s gonna think of that.

Ok: observation. There are a crapload more people riding today than normal. Every single station is pack full of people. This has to be all of the people who work downtown. You can’t get anywhere close to downtown today by car. Many of the main downtown avenues are closed because of the World Trade Center services today. Plus, President Bush is cruising around down there somewhere, so security is especially tight.

As a result, everyone opted for the subway over driving. Can’t say I blame them.

This can’t mean good things for this evening’s ride.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

 [UPDATE]  Penn Station is reopening and attempting to get back on schedule.