The only blog written from the NYC Subway system

Gooooooood morning New York City. Ok, yeah…that was a little much. I know…I forced it. I just forced myself to be that cheery and it was obvious. Let’s try this again.

Welcome back to the morning grind New York. Hope you enjoyed the long weekend because the next paid holiday is a long way away. Alright, now I’m depressed.

Well after an extended weekend of gross laziness, I am back in the subway. My line wasn’t set on fire or anything, so I guess that is a good thing. We even managed to survive the West Indian Parade!

I love how tense people get around the ethnic festivities. People always get sooo tense as if there was going to be a huge race riot. Of all the ethnic celebrations in the city, the West Indian Parade is the least of my worries. It is a well known fact that you must smoke weed for 24 hours straight on the day prior to the parade if you wish to participate. So in essence, this is a congregation of people who are the LEAST likley to start a fight.

When was the last time you heard of a group of pot heads starting a riot? (Unless it was to raid the 7-11 for munchies.)

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Nothing says good, clean, family fun like a neighborhood event sponsored by Miller. 

Ok so we admit that we don’t know anything about Harlem Week other than it really isn’t a week.  It is actually a month.  Harlem Week runs from Aug 29th thru Sept 30th.  Soooo shouldn’t it be called Harlem Month?

The MTA is apparently supporting Harlem Month Week by linking to the site.  We also assume that they are trying to get more people into Harlem via MTA transportation.  Of course, we have nothing against Harlem.  SUBWAYblogger only lives a few blocks from Harlem.  We just find it funny that Harlem Week is really…well…more than a week.  We hope we aren’t the first ones to notice. 

HarlemDiscover.com is the website.  We also wonder if it should be DiscoverHarlem.com instead, but who are we to judge.

Ever wonder why the subway is so damn hot?  Well the MTA has a podcast to explain all about it.

By the way, does anyone else find it strange that the MTA has a regular podcast program?  This is honestly what resources are being spent on.  Kind of makes SUBWAYblogger do a double take when we find stuff like this.  Anyway, the podcast is actually very well produced.  Enjoy.

This week, a report was released ranking the cities with the worst commutes. Guess what? New York City was ranked number 2…as in the second worst in the country. Vineland, NJ was ranked number 1, but we think that’s total bull. Who’s ever heard of Vineland, NJ? We think they made that one up so that New Yorkers wouldn’t riot in the streets.

What is so sad is that a college had to go back and look at the official data that was released by the government agency. Why you ask? Probably because the kids there are smart and suspicious of the government…like they should be.

In the report, Queens College discovered that there are actually more commuters than ever before. How ’bout that. Instead of just ranking the cities, we had to rely on a bunch of Queens College coeds to extract some useful information. Furthermore, they found that tens of thousands of working class people have stopped driving their cars in favor of public transportation including buses, trains, and subways.

SUBWAYblogger, of course, believes that the NYC Subway system is the absolute best way to get around the city. Unfortunately, it sounds like the word is getting out. More and more people are saying, “Screw driving in this sh*t,” and heading for the subways. Guess that’s job security for SUBWAYblogger!

So apparently you are taking your life in your hands if you venture onto the yellow or orange subway lines these days.  The other day, there was that father that killed his kids then threw himself in front of the Q train.  Yesterday, some little punks stabbed a 15 year old on the D train. 

The police thinks it could have been gang related (shocker).  All of the suspects were between 13 and 16. 

I say, if convicted, they should be thrown in front of a moving subway. Oooor made to grab the third rail.  We can let them pick.  And no, it doesn’t matter that they are minors.  If that is the crap you pull, then you face the punishment as an adult. 

Oops. I am running a bit late today, and it is completely my fault. What’s a little sad is that today’s a half day anyway. The office is closing after lunch. So its in late and out early. Oh well.

As for the holiday weekend, I have no idea what’s in store. Just to give you a heads up, there won’t be any regular postings on Monday. I will resume the normal routine on Tuesday.

Between now and then, I hope to do some writing from home. Maybe a few holiday bonus stories…if you will. I have no idea at this point if/when I will be on the subway so we’ll play it by ear. (I hate that stupid saying…play it by ear.)

On another note, since I am leaving early, it will be cool to check out the activity during the midday. I’ll be heading further downtown for lunch this afternoon. Look forward to a unique post on that.

THIS JUST IN: Ok so I am writing this administrative post while riding the subway a normal, but I just saw the funniest thing. There’s this woman standing across from me who is attempting to put on lipstick and balance herself at the same time. The train just jerked around a little and she bumped her face into the lipstick tube as she was putting it on. So now their is red lipstick on her cheek. She thinks she got it all off, but nooo.

What’s the proper protocol here? New Yorker code of conduct states not to say anything to anyone at any time. Do I break the code and say something? I think not. Its Friday and I am sure her coworkers could use a laugh.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Did you hear about the mother who came home last night only to find her two kids dead in the bathtub? The mother got home around midnight after work. Daddy was home “taking care” of the kids.

Allegedly, he drowned the two little ones in the bathtub. He then went down to the subway and threw himself in front of the Q train.
Also, he apparently left 7 or 8 suicide notes, one of which he kept on his person.

What the hell do you do when you see something like that? Can you even imagine standing there waiting for your train when all of a sudden a dude jumps on the tracks in front of it? I guess that’s a textbook “See something, say something” moment. That’s something that’s just going to ruin your night.

Of course, the murder portion is a shame. No one wants that to happen. But there have to be better ways to kill yourself. Yeah, a train can kill you, but there are people who survive that!

Creepy sh*t man…creepy.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

It is annoying how one little problem on a subway line can screw things up EVERYWHERE. A five minute diversion on the C train can cause hours of backups on the 1 train. Stuff like that.

This morning, there must have been a holdup somewhere because the entire platform was 10 people deep. Even then, it took forever for the next train to arrive.

You know how this goes. Even when the train finally did come, it was already packed to the roof with people. The doors open up and one person gets off. That’s always promising. So an additional 30 people try to get in each door of an already full car.

There’s always that asshole that yells, “Could you move in please?!” Yeah ok buddy. Like we all have tons of room around us.

I had to shove a guy out of the train today. He ran up to the door and tried to push people in so he could squeeze in. I shoved him back right in the middle of his chest and said, “You are out of your mind.”

All of this because somewhere a single train threw off the schedule, and the rest of us have to suffer.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…