I Fought with a Bum Today

Sort of.  Also, it turns out you can’t blog about it on your Blackberry while you are in the process of screaming at a scrawny bum.

Anyway, this morning it was raining pretty hard as we all know.  On my train, there was an open window that obviously had water leak down it and formed a puddle in one of the seats.

Unfortunately, I found myself standing directly in front of that seat.  I didn’t want the seat, but saw the open space.  So I spent much of the ride trying to explain to old ladies that they couldn’t sit there because of the puddle, as they pushed me out of the way.

About half way to my stop, a skinny a-hole homeless guy got on the train screaming .  F-this and F-that. Screaming at random people to get the f out of his way.  What are they looking at.  Then telling women he could see down their tops.  A real specimen.

Little eagle-eye spotted the open seat and squirmed his way though the packed train car where I (and others around me) said the seat’s wet.  Note:  I’m standing almost close enough for my shins to touch the front edge of the seat, that’s how packed the train is.  I’m at mid car, near the middle doors.  The wet seat is one spot in from the end of the bench.

So he comes in from my left and reaches down to the seat and brushes the puddle of water off the seat onto the front of my pants!  Like a big, fast wiping action to flick the water off.  He only got about half of the water off the seat when he started to spin around to sit down.

At first I was in shock, but then I said, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

I will leave the rest to your imagination.  I don’t want to go into any details, but he was not on board the train when we left the next station.

I have a fairly high tollerance for these guys because clearly they have mental problems.  However, when you are saying things like he said and splashing water on me, it really gets to the point where action needs to be taken.

My New Favorite Spot to Ride

So I have a new favorite spot to ride the train, but it is a tough spot to get.

I like to stand right on the very end of the train by the door that leads from one train car to another. I find that you can get lean on the door a little and the door to the little conductor cab. You know?

It’s a nice area because rarely (if ever) is there any passenger traffic to contend with. You can lean there in relative peace and quite without having to constantly shuffle while people get in and out.

Of course, I rarely bother getting a seat because when I do I get the hairy eyeball from the old ladies. So I always stand unless the train is very empty. So good standing space is hard to come by.

Unfortunately, this spot is often taken, and it can be hard to reach on a crowded train. Also, this is not a spot to stand if you only have a few stops to go. You don’t want to be that a-hole that has to climb over everyone to get off the train. So it is best for longer rides.

You should also be a little careful if you choose to try it. Sharp turns and jolts in the track are magnified on the ends. The ends of the trains have the most left to right movement for the riders, so you could get slammed into the wall you are leaning on if you aren’t careful.

What’s your favorite ride spot on the train?