Thanks But No Thanks, Body Shop

There’s a new ad on the subway that I noticed today for The Body Shop.  I’d actually seen it a few times before but never really knew what was being sold.

For whatever reason, I looked more closely at it today.

It is a sign with flowers.  Chamomile to be exact. The product claims to help you sleep better and wake up more energized.  (Can you say fish oil?)

Turns out, it is a aromatherapy “pillow mist.”  I’m not making this shit up.

It is a spray that you are supposed to spritz on your pillow at night.  The magical scents are supposed to make you sleep better.  Unless it’s chloroform, I’m not buying it.

That one gets chalked up with Dr. Zizmore on the Bullshit Subway Ad Wall of Shame.

Is it the beginning of the end?

I’m about one or two more back to back track fires away from taking cover in a bunker somewhere.  Seriously.  Things over the past couple weeks are just getting crazy.

It all started with summer showing up light a white hot freight train.  For weeks, we enjoyed beautiful mid 70’s each day.  Then, overnight it was 96 degrees outside…or 104 if you follow that “Real Feel” bullshit.

**Side note.  What the hell is a “Real Feel” temperature or heat index?  I know what it really means, but lets just make it easy.  Just tell me how damn hot it feels outside and leave it at that.  If it’s 86 outside but feels like 94, I want to know about the 94.  Screw the 86…who cares.  My ass is sweating.

Anyway, the heat showed up, and I started to brace for the subway heat as we’ve discussed at length in the past.  Interestingly, it was virtually the same day it hit as last year.  Also, we’ve discussed that it takes about a day or two for the heat to make it’s way underground.  Then it’s an oven.

So yeah, of course I was expecting the heat eventually, but not all this other crap.

Let’s start with the track fires.  It’s so damn hot that shit just randomly catches on fire on the PATH train tracks almost every week.  Switches, lights, and boxes in the subway blow up or short out.  How hot is it?  Hot enough to bring mass transit to it’s knees.

If there’s ever been an argument for better maintenance of the subway system (including upgrades), this is it.   Gas is hitting $5.00 a gallon all around us, more and more people are taking the trains, and we’re running a system from 1932.  Just wait and see how f-ed up it gets when the rain comes…

Then, there was last night.  I’m sitting in my apartment, and it’s perfectly quiet outside.  All of a sudden it sounds like rocks are being thrown at my windows.  I look outside, and it looks like a tornado is coming up the block.  I watches as a whole tree across the street became uprooted.

Then on the other side of the street, scaffolding started ripping off my neighbor’s building.  You know the scaffolding they put over the sidewalks?  Most usually have blue plywood walls put up around the first story of the scaffold.  Well, this wind started peeling off the 4×8 sheets of plywood like post-it notes.  They flew up the street doing cartwheels over the cars on the block. Read More »

Bull Sh*t Alert: MTA Postpones Upgrades

Remember way back when the MTA promised that part of the new fare hike would include some general system upgrades with a $30 million improvement package? Yeah well, the MTA has decided they’re just gonna hold off on that for a lil bit.

This is such bullshit, it drives me nuts. If this is the stuff they can get away with, they should have just promised to make $900 million in improvements. Either way, they weren’t going to do it in the first place.

Here’s what we’re not getting:

More frequent service on the G line in Brooklyn and Queens, extending B and W service on weeknights to 11 p.m. from the current 9:30 p.m., and shaving one or two minutes from waiting times for evening service on the 1, 4 and 6 lines.

So much for that plan.  I guess at the end of the day, it just means more of the same for your commute.  For the few of us that actually pay an strange amount of attention to the happenings of the subway, we will be the only ones that get ultra pissed.

But riders having to now pay higher fares should be pissed.  Part of the “agreement” were these system improvements.

They say that if the MTA finance department can get their act together by June, the improvements might still have a chance.  Forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.  I love how these financial troubles are all of a sudden brought up now…after the fare hike has already happened.  Where was this information earlier?  Saying that the numbers weren’t in is just bull.  It’s not like they are being sent in by carrier pigeon.  All you need to do is look up the tax forecasts etc. and you would have been able to see that the MTA wasn’t going to make as much this year.

So they should not have offered the improved services in the first place, or upped the fare $0.25 on the single ride fare.