Top 10 Subway Bullsh*t

  1. Heat (or lack of AC): Can’t we poke some holes in the ceiling of the train lines to allow more ventilation?  Is it that hard to do?  And I’m sure there’s a way to do it and keep the rain out at the same time.
  2. Security: Well, there isn’t any.  Random cops sometimes standing around talking to each other is security?
  3. Lack of Cameras: When I get mugged (it’s only a matter of time), I want it caught on film.  All you privacy freaks, get over it.  Your face on camera while you wait for the train is not an invasion of your privacy.  Cameras in the bathrooms, maybe.  But since there are hardly any bathrooms, it’s not a problem.
  4. Lack of Wireless Service:  Honestly?  It’s almost 2009.  Get on the stick.
  5. MetroCard: The MetroCard was a good idea up until 1999.  Now it’s time for something better.  A pocket EZPass?  Swipe your cellphone?
  6. Giving Money to Panhandlers: If everyone stopped giving money to the bums on the train that claim “their papers got lost” and “they got mugged at the shelter” and “that apologize for the interruption,” they would stop begging on the train.  They simply would go somewhere else to make a buck.  I’ve seen the same 3 or 4 bums pitching the same exact story for years now.
  7. Strollers: Nuff Said.
  8. MTA: Pretty much everyone in charge over there.  Especially the ones in charge of the books.
  9. Electronic Message Boards: Nuff Said.
  10. Bitching About Our Bitching: If you have a problem with our bitching, that’s ok.  We’d love to hear about it, but SUBWAYblogger is here to stay.
Now it is time for you to add #11, 12, 13, etc!  Post away in the comments.  Get the list going.  Tell a friend.  Check the little box under the submit button to find out when other people reply.

The Crazies are Active

I’ve experienced an unprecedented amount of encounters with crazy bums this week.  Like, a LOT of encounters.  Almost every time I ride the train.

A few of the highlights.

The Crazy Bum Couple. I’m standing on the platform one afternoon this week waiting for my train.  I hear a loud fight half in English, half Spanish.  Turn around, and there’s a homeless couple yelling at each other about the direction the train is going to run (uptown or downtown).  It was the uptown side.  They were also oddly short people.

Anyway, the guy has a purple bandage around his arm at the elbow.  When I noticed it again, I saw that his elbow was broken.  The joint totally did not line up at all.  This purple bandage was the equivelant of an ace bandage, but there was a huge bump below where it ended the size of a baseball.  It was his elbow.  There’s no way it was in the socket.

Of course, they got right in the same car I did where the discussion continued.  It was also interlaced with him screaming about how he wasn’t going to effing move out of the doorway when people tried to get on and off.

The Pundit. Yesterday, there was a guy waiting on the platform having a very detailed discussion about the qualifications for being President of the USA.  He was very up to date on current events.  I thought he was talking to someone on the phone with a bluetooth or something.  Turns out…nope.  He was talking to himself.

He also got on the same car as me where the “debate” continued about how many rights do Americans really need.  Does new technology really help us?  Did anyone really ask for the microwave to be invented?  This discussion was at full volume as if he were talking to everyone on that end of the train.   Not at all angry, and he actually made some good points.  Unfortunately, he was just talking to himself.

How did I know he was crazy?  He had a pair of black nylon stockings tied around his mouth like a surgeon’s mask.

Striking Similarity or Pink Copycat

You Be the Judge…

Fat People:

Subway Gal and Here
and Here

Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger and Bums Category

Sleeping on Subway:
Subway Gal

Emergency Exits
Subway Gal

Subway Gal

Fare Increase, Same Crappy Service
Subway Gal

Heat and Air Conditioning
Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger and Here (same headline) and Here

I mean, I’m just sayin’.  🙂