Emergency Exits are for Emergencies!


Folks, the emergency exits are for emergencies; not your fat ass. They aren’t for your dump truck sized baby strollers either. So cut the crap and use the turnstile.

People use the emergency exits so often, that they are starting to break down! People allegedly can’t tell the difference between the service exits and the emergency exits which really doesn’t matter because you shouldn’t be using them anyway.

After the London subway bombings, the MTA spent $3.8 to install the emergency doors all over the subway system. They were installed mostly in places where there are those floor to ceiling turnstiles (pictured above). Those turnstiles are located at entrances where there is no agent. The problem is that in an emergency, only 20 people per minute can get out.

Unfortunately, people are in such a hurry that they use the emergency doors. When you open the doors, an alarm goes off, but that’s about it. Just a loud noise. The booth agent at the closest entrance is alerted, but what the hell are they going to do. Nothing. People use them so much that the alarms are just plain worn out.

So, next time I see your tubby but heading for the emergency door OR you and your stroller headed out, I’m going to slam the door shut. Another $3.8 million to fix the damn doors is all the reason they need to hike the fares even more. So fold your stroller up like you are already supposed to, or take the bus!

7 thoughts on “Emergency Exits are for Emergencies!

  1. I was going to toss myself onto the tracks with a Louganis touch, but then I decided — hey, why not ram myself through the emergency exit, and set off the alarm? You know, just to annoy the SUBWAYblogger?

    And what a grand exit that would be, having been convinced just last week of the pointlessness of track death by this site.

    Yet it was only a last minute guilt trip which made me realize, hey (yeah, another “hey”) there are thousands, if not millions, of hipster blogger office workers with thick-black-rimmed glasses doing menial office jobs who will be inconvienced by my suicidal selfishness — why, oh why, set off that gate alarm? Shit, won’t they be pissed, and blog about it?

    And so, instead, I sent a message to Craigslist. Looking forward to your replies.

    Oh, and then I fell on the tracks. Sorry about that. Won’t Urban Outfitters be annoyed when you’re tardy tomorrow.


  2. First, I must say, love your comments. Gave me a good laugh since I enjoy sarcastic humor so much. So keep them coming. By the way, the only reason your comment went into moderation was because you dropped a “shit” in there. Otherwise, it would have posted immediately. Of course, I don’t mind blatent 4 letter words at all. However, the moderation system catches them because of all the damn comment spamers.

    “Louganis touch…” – Priceless

    As for the gate alarms, I could care less if people use the doors or if the alarm goes off. But it does piss me off that they are going to need to be repaired or replaced because they are over used. Who’s gonna pay for that? You and me in the form of higher fares. The MTA is itching for a fare hike, and this only gives them more reasons.

    And yes, Urban Outfitters will be annoyed. I am the #1 Timberland boot seller, yo.


  3. Not sure I’m reading this right: are you saying we shouldn’t be using the service (non-emergency) exits either?

    Hey, I can tell the emergency exit from the service exit. And I have a stroller-age kid. I’d never take her on a rush hour train, but I’d like to be able to take her through the door when we head out for a Saturday afternoon errand. I wait until I’m not in the way, I swipe like I’m supposed to, the whole thing.

    Even with the stroller folded, it’s a hell of a thing to get you, it, and a 20-pound kid all at once through either kind of turnstile. Then there are days when you’re trying to take home a TV or something (again, not at rush hour unless you’re a tool).

    Plus, can you imagine what would happen if there were a panic in a station equipped only with “iron maiden” exits? People would get pureed.

    Comes down to the same issue everything else does: we need to preserve the options, but keep people from being stupid with them. Good luck, I know.


  4. Oh please don’t send the stroller patrol on the bus. There is even less room there & they take it up with open strollers. I always love how people with open strollers look at you with an attitude when you look pissed about not being able to move peacefully.

    I notice this bs attitude on the bus & subway.


  5. In reference to Jim’s comments above, it is still a violation to carry any bulky item on the subway that will cause inconvenience to other riders. So I think a baby stroller during rush hours count.


  6. Hi S-blogger,

    Thanks for your reply above. That’s why my original post specified that I *don’t* ever take the stroller underground during rush hour.

    There’s some vagueness and wiggle room in the “inconvenience to other riders” language, but I err on the side of caution.


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