Why is it that whenever you need a new MetroCard, you always find yourself stuck behind a computer retard?

The software on the MetroCard machines is written at a second grade comprehension level, yet people stand there as if they were being asked S.A.T. questions. What’s the hold up?!?

Just touch the thing you want. You aren’t going to get voted off the island if you touch the wrong thing.

The part that screws up most of these whiz kids is the credit card dip. On the screen pops up a message to please insert your credit card. The look of utter confusion on the user’s face makes you want to grab the card out of their hand and do it for them.

All you have to do is stick your damn card in the slot. That’s it! Where’s the mystery? These people stand there as if the machine just asked the for the even numbers only or something.

Meanwhile, four trains have come and gone.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…