You know what always makes me laugh? The announcements that say, “Ladies and gentlemen, please help keep the subway clean and litter free. Dispose of trash…”

Keep the subway clean? That implies that the subway is clean in the first place, and that all we need to do is help maintain it. Clearly, that’s no where near the case.

How about, “Please help keep the sewer system clean…” Yeah, doesn’t make much sense either.

Maybe if the subway stations and trains were cleaned on a more regular basis, more people would feel obligated to chip in by cleaning up after themselves.

You have to figure that more regular cleanings would help make the system last longer. Parts of the system start falling apart because years of corrosive grime start to pile up. The trains themselves would probably suffer less wear and tear if they were cleaned top to bottom.

In the mean time, the announcement should be changed to something like, “Please help keep the subway from getting worse…”

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…