So I’ve seen a lot of gross stuff happen, especially in the subway.  Gross, smelly, oozing homeless feet.  Fat, sweating, pigs of human beings in airconditionless subway cars.  Really, it takes a lot to make my skin crawl.  However, this put me over the edge.

I was on a 3 train coming from downtown.  It was pretty crowded, and kinda hot.  The AC was working, but not too well.  The trains were also slow, so there was a slightly higher number of people in each train.

I was standing at the end of a car, standing over the little two-seater.  There was an 16 or 17 year old couple (guy and girl).

Just to paint the picture…

Her: Tight, tiiiiight black acid washed jeans.  Halter top that didn’t quite make it over the muffin top.  High tops.  Little acne problem.

Him: All black clothing starting at the top with the Yankees cap and do-rag.  Cap at the standard 45 degrees, but also askew like a beret.  Black t-shirt long enough to go past his knees.  Fake silver chain with a cross and skull.

Here comes the grossness…you’ve been warned.

At first I look down, and she is picking the dirt out from under his fingernails.  Already, I’m grossed out.  She gets to his thumb, and starts having issues.

Her fake acrylic nails are getting in the way.  And he has one little corner on his nail that is a little sharp.  She starts to try to pick the sharp corner off to no avail.

So then (cue drum roll), she puts his thumb in her mouth to bit his thumbnail!  I shit you not.  She starts biting his nails like they were her own.  Just chompin’ away.

She nibbles an entire strip as if she were a nail clipper, and spits it out at my feet.  Then moves on to the next finger.

He’s just sitting there, too hardcore for life, like nothing odd is going on at all.  Meanwhile, his fingernails are getting a mouth manicure right before our very eyes.

Possibly one of the most retarded things I have seen to date. y