So I have to admit that I get a little kick out of the routines that the homeless guys pull on the trains when begging for change. I don’t get off on the fact that they are homeless, so relax! But, their little speeches and whatnot can be quite entertaining.

The fact is that 99% of the claims in their little rants are not at all true. They go on and on about how many kids they have, and how they can’t get in a shelter. Not true (most of the time).

The theatrical nature of their rants is quite good. If it weren’t for the stench, they would make excellent dramatic actors.

My favorite is when they go on and on about how it could happen to us. As if they were corporate CEO’s that developed a little love of the bottle, only to find themselves out on the streets overnight. Don’t think so pal. It probably can’t happen to most of us because we have a little thing called a job.

Hey, if a Mexican immigrant can swim across the Rio Grande with ten dollars in his pocket and still manage to pay the rent, why can’t YOU?

Ok, so this sounds completely insensitive. I get it, but the fact is that a large proportion of these guys are just idiots. They are mentally stable and capable of working. They just chose to screw around too much, and now they are on the street.

Personally, if I actually did end up homeless, I would immediately join the Navy. It is a job, a paycheck, a clean bet, and hot food. Plus, since it is the Navy, there isn’t much chance of combat (as compared to the Army). So, I could live, eat, sleep, and work on my aircraft carrier without having to worry about getting shot at. Few years later, back on my feet.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…