Don’t you feel like a complete loser when you miss the train? Especially when you make a dash for it and still miss?

At my station, you can see down to the lower level where the tracks are. The token booth level goes over both the up and downtown tracks.

So I saw my train as it came to a stop at the platform. Immediately, you feel like an olympic runner. Without fail though, you will find 10 slow ass people in your way.

I sprinted to the turnstile where I found the NYC Retard club attempting to swipe their cards. Is it me or have you ever wanted to just grab someones MertoCard away from them to swipe it for them? C’mon. Put the card in the slot and swipe. It isn’t that hard.

Anyway, made it through that nightmare only to get to the stairs. Of course, there were little old ladies moving 2 feet an hour. There must be a bingo hall down here that I am unaware of because there is no reason for this many old women to be heading down the stairs at once.

Finally, I made it down to the platform. Just as my foot hit the bottom step, the doors began to close. I made a last ditch sprint hoping to get a hand in the door. No…not so much. The train pulled away.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…