Just about every outfit you see on the subway is a “fashion don’t.” Did you ever find yourself riding the train wondering if you are the only normal looking one on board?
In the winter, it’s cold. People just look like idiots because they are wearing whatever they can to stay warm. In the summer though, people are clearly not thinking, or have simply giving up. To some extent, I can understand giving up when it is a million degrees out.
Anyway, here’s some major fashion don’ts that you’ll find on every train. Sorry ladies, but most of them fall on you.
1. Pants that are 4 to 6 sizes too small. Sorry lady, you shouldn’t be buying the same size jeans you wore when you were 14 years old. Where in the Hispanic and African community did someone decide that it was sexy to barely be able to have your zipper reach the top? Sure, white girls are sometimes guilty too, but they are just plain sloppy. The African and Hispanic ladies wear them with purpose!
2. Women with breasts the size of toddlers that don’t wear bras. Just because the tank-top says “built in bra” doesn’t mean that it can hold 50 pounds of boob meat.
3. Some people just shouldn’t wear sandals. Nuff said.
4. Sleeveless tee shirts (guys) where you cut the sleeves off yourself. Fellas, in case you didn’t know, the gym has this thing called a locker room where you can change out of your workout clothes. Also, Andrew Dice Clay wants his outfit back.
5. Strapless tops with non-strapless bras. Wasn’t this a redneck joke? You know you’re a redneck if you wear a strapless top with a bra that isn’t? Well, I swear I have seen a half dozen women like this already this year. Ok maybe a strapless top with a tank top under neath is ok. A little 80’s retro look is cool. But this is an all out BRA.
6. Sunglasses under ground. Ok, what the hell is this? Why do some women wear those huge chemistry goggle sunglasses on the train? It doesn’t make you look swank or mysterious. The only mystery is whether or not there is a person behind those manhole sized glasses. Honestly, theses sunglasses are getting so big that they could double as welding masks.
I’m sure you have some more of your own, so let’s hear them! Hit up the comments.