Category: Good lookin’

Naked Girls on the Subway

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Fact or fiction?

I was talking to a friend today that claimed to have one of the best subway stories ever.  I’m hoping there’s a SUBWAYblogger reader that can backup his story because I’m finding it hard to believe.

He claims he was on an A train down near the Village late one weekend night when two girls got on the train.  They started to dance around the poles like strippers.

This is by no means unusual.  I’ve seen girls and even some drag queens do the dance on the train before.  I’ve even seen dancers that bring their own boombox so they have a good beat.

Well apparently these girls took it to the next level.  The crowd started to egg them on during their performance.  Before you know it, off came the tops.  The dance then continued (topless) for two more stops.

That’s where I started to not believe his story.

Has anyone seen this before?  If so, don’t hold out.  We need to ride that train immediately.

Sailors Travel in a Sea of Women

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Fleet week sailors with girls in the village.
Fleet week sailors with girls in the village.

This past weekend is the only time I ever actually consider joining the Navy.  Everywhere you go on the subway all weekend long, it is nonstop sailors with hot women on their arms.

Getting done up in those dress whites is like some sort of magical hot-girl catnip or something.  They have to fight them off with a stick.

The best part is when you see them riding around in neighborhoods no where near the tourist areas.  Seeing them in groups down in the Village or Time Square is one thing.   Seeing them riding around the East 90’s is another story.

Without fail, every year I see a lone sailor riding back down to the ship from waaaaay uptown.  It’s the arm forces walk of shame, yet there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I’ve never done anything close to any kind of military service.  I’m curious about what it is like on board those ships the day they find out they’ve been selected to come to NYC for Fleet Week.  It must be like Christmas for the single, 18-30 year old men on board.

Keep up the good work boys (and girls).

Photo credit.

I Can See Your Boob

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The weather is getting warmer, that’s for sure.  Today wasn’t especially warm, but for some ladies the summer clothes are out and they’re not going back till the fall.

With that comes the lowcut tops, short shorts, and micro skirts. This is truly one of New York’s greatest treasures, IMHO.

Today, there was a young lady sitting down in front of me.  I was holding on to the bar above where she was sitting.   She was wearing a sundress type thing with little straps.  I guess the dress was a little big on her or something because one strap kept falling off her shoulder.

I looked down, and oops…there’s your boob.  Nice to meet you.

Unfortunately, she was not terribly attractive.  Wasn’t quite to the point of being offensive, but it did give me pause.  So I turned away.

It’s like forcing yourself to not look at a car wreck.

Anyway, I got a seat at the next stop more or less across from her…a slight angle. I thought everything would be safe now because I was now at her eye level instead of looking down over her.  How wrong I was.

She was reading people magazine or something and was totally focused.  Whoops, there goes that strap again.   Only this time, it really went.  There’s no way that people sitting next to me couldn’t see her entire boob hanging out.

It was easily the entire length of one stop to another before she picked up the strap.  But she did it totally casual without even taking her eyes off the magazine.  I don’t think she “felt the breeze” at all.

I kept waiting for another woman on the train to say something to her.  There’s no way in hell a guy is going to say anything.  For one, it is against our DNA to do so, and secondly that is a line we never cross.

I just assumed it was part of the “girl code” to tell each other when your boob is hanging out, regardless of being strangers.  Right?

I swear fat people gravitate toward me

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I don’t know what it is.  Maybe god id punishing me for talking about fat people on SUBWAYblogger.

Lord knows the haters start bashing away in the comments every time I bring up the subject.

So before I get into the point of this post, let me say a few things for the record

  1. No, I don’t hate fat people.  I just think that they need to recognize that they are fat and that other people shouldn’t have to be impacted by someone else’s girth.
  2. I’m not insensitive.  I just tell it the way it is.  Sugar coating is for babies.
  3. I know…just because your fat doesn’t mean you a bad person.  I get it, and I agree.  So just relax.

I know some of you won’t be able to help yourselves.  You’ll need to rail on me in the comments.  Have at it.  You know I never censor the comments.Read More »

“Sorry, I don’t know you.”

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I witnessed a funny encounter today on the subway.

It was just a typical morning like usual.  The train was fairly crowded.

There was a girl sitting down and another girl standing in front of her with her iPod in reading a book.  The girl sitting down looked up, and with a somewhat puzzeled look on her face when she saw the other girl.

“Hey Stephanie,” the girl sitting down said.

She said it a few times because “Stephanie” didn’t hear her due to the iPod.  Finally, she did and popped out a an earbud.

“Sorry, I’m not Stephanie. She’s my sister.”

Turns out that this girl is an identical twin.  The girl sitting down works with the sister apparently.  That’s why she was so confused that this girl didn’t say hello when she was standing right in front of her.

The girl appologized laughed and apologized.  The twin said it was no problem and it happens all the time.

Fat Woman Hissy Fit

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So a fat woman and a gay guy walk into a bar.  (Just kidding)

Instead, a skinny gay guy sits down next to a biiiiiiig hunk of woman on the subway.  She’s easily a seat-and-a-halfer.  Her thighs are just spilling over into the seat next to her.

She was all the way at the end of the row, so her other side was oozing out under the bar into the doorway.  I’m not even kidding when I say that people had to be careful walking through the door on that side.  One guy’s leg rubbed up against her and scared the crap out of him.  It startled him as he got off the train.

Anyway, big momma is reading the paper.  The New York Times I believe, surprisingly not the Food section.

So skinny gay guy is just minding his own business.  He’s a little squished in his seat, but doesn’t seem to mind.  He’s reading a book and listening to an iPod.

Then, big momma goes to turn the page.  She nearly smacks him in the face.  She’s so round, she can hardly get her hands around in front of her.  The bottom of the paper keeps getting hung up on her breasts as she tries to fold the page back.  So with each page turn, she’s flapping her flippers arms out and getting all in the gay guy’s business.

To his credit, he didn’t say anything the first two times she did it.  He just made a face and rolled his eyes.  People around us were smiling, trying not to laugh because she made a big deal about every turn of the page.

On the third turn, she bumped his book.  The pages of her newspaper were covering his book as she was turning the page.

Finally, he had enough.  Read More »

Halloween Freakshow 2008

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Well folks, we’ve survived (most of us) another Halloween in NYC.  It never ceases to amaze me how seriously New Yorkers take Halloween.

Even if you didn’t make it down to the Village for the parade, you can still see the “interesting” costumes underground.  The subway becomes it’s own parade all night long.

Most people take the subway downtown for two reasons:  1) it’s fast on a busy night like Halloween.  2) Seeing everyone else dressed up on the train is half the fun of the night.

Here’s just a very, very small sample of what you missed last night.

If you’ve got some interesting subway Halloween pictures, we’d love to see them.  Post a link in the comments or send them to submit [(at)] subwayblogger.com.

Photo Credits:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine

The Most Disgusting Thing I’ve Ever Seen

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Nail Clipper

So I’ve seen a lot of gross stuff happen, especially in the subway.  Gross, smelly, oozing homeless feet.  Fat, sweating, pigs of human beings in airconditionless subway cars.  Really, it takes a lot to make my skin crawl.  However, this put me over the edge.

I was on a 3 train coming from downtown.  It was pretty crowded, and kinda hot.  The AC was working, but not too well.  The trains were also slow, so there was a slightly higher number of people in each train.

I was standing at the end of a car, standing over the little two-seater.  There was an 16 or 17 year old couple (guy and girl).

Just to paint the picture…

Her: Tight, tiiiiight black acid washed jeans.  Halter top that didn’t quite make it over the muffin top.  High tops.  Little acne problem.

Him: All black clothing starting at the top with the Yankees cap and do-rag.  Cap at the standard 45 degrees, but also askew like a beret.  Black t-shirt long enough to go past his knees.  Fake silver chain with a cross and skull.

Here comes the grossness…you’ve been warned.

At first I look down, and she is picking the dirt out from under his fingernails.  Already, I’m grossed out.  She gets to his thumb, and starts having issues.

Her fake acrylic nails are getting in the way.  And he has one little corner on his nail that is a little sharp.  She starts to try to pick the sharp corner off to no avail.

So then (cue drum roll), she puts his thumb in her mouth to bit his thumbnail!  I shit you not.  She starts biting his nails like they were her own.  Just chompin’ away.

She nibbles an entire strip as if she were a nail clipper, and spits it out at my feet.  Then moves on to the next finger.

He’s just sitting there, too hardcore for life, like nothing odd is going on at all.  Meanwhile, his fingernails are getting a mouth manicure right before our very eyes.

Possibly one of the most retarded things I have seen to date. y

Subway Crush Facilitates Subway Lovin’

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Remember that guy that saw a girl on the subway and fell in love with her immediately? Or perhaps you remember feeling a little nauseous when you read the story.

SubwayCrush.com Logo

Well now there’s a brand new site that allows you to get stalked find your missed subway love connection.

SubwayCrush.com is a new site that simply allows you to post a quick note about the person you saw in hopes that maybe they will see it and respond.

The little post lines remind me of a Twitter thread. They are just quick one-liners. However, in this case, they are organized by subway line.

It’s an interesting concept. Already has a few dozen posts.