Naked Girls on the Subway

Fact or fiction?

I was talking to a friend today that claimed to have one of the best subway stories ever.  I’m hoping there’s a SUBWAYblogger reader that can backup his story because I’m finding it hard to believe.

He claims he was on an A train down near the Village late one weekend night when two girls got on the train.  They started to dance around the poles like strippers.

This is by no means unusual.  I’ve seen girls and even some drag queens do the dance on the train before.  I’ve even seen dancers that bring their own boombox so they have a good beat.

Well apparently these girls took it to the next level.  The crowd started to egg them on during their performance.  Before you know it, off came the tops.  The dance then continued (topless) for two more stops.

That’s where I started to not believe his story.

Has anyone seen this before?  If so, don’t hold out.  We need to ride that train immediately.

Sailors Travel in a Sea of Women

Fleet week sailors with girls in the village.
Fleet week sailors with girls in the village.

This past weekend is the only time I ever actually consider joining the Navy.  Everywhere you go on the subway all weekend long, it is nonstop sailors with hot women on their arms.

Getting done up in those dress whites is like some sort of magical hot-girl catnip or something.  They have to fight them off with a stick.

The best part is when you see them riding around in neighborhoods no where near the tourist areas.  Seeing them in groups down in the Village or Time Square is one thing.   Seeing them riding around the East 90’s is another story.

Without fail, every year I see a lone sailor riding back down to the ship from waaaaay uptown.  It’s the arm forces walk of shame, yet there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I’ve never done anything close to any kind of military service.  I’m curious about what it is like on board those ships the day they find out they’ve been selected to come to NYC for Fleet Week.  It must be like Christmas for the single, 18-30 year old men on board.

Keep up the good work boys (and girls).

Photo credit.

I Can See Your Boob

The weather is getting warmer, that’s for sure.  Today wasn’t especially warm, but for some ladies the summer clothes are out and they’re not going back till the fall.

With that comes the lowcut tops, short shorts, and micro skirts. This is truly one of New York’s greatest treasures, IMHO.

Today, there was a young lady sitting down in front of me.  I was holding on to the bar above where she was sitting.   She was wearing a sundress type thing with little straps.  I guess the dress was a little big on her or something because one strap kept falling off her shoulder.

I looked down, and oops…there’s your boob.  Nice to meet you.

Unfortunately, she was not terribly attractive.  Wasn’t quite to the point of being offensive, but it did give me pause.  So I turned away.

It’s like forcing yourself to not look at a car wreck.

Anyway, I got a seat at the next stop more or less across from her…a slight angle. I thought everything would be safe now because I was now at her eye level instead of looking down over her.  How wrong I was.

She was reading people magazine or something and was totally focused.  Whoops, there goes that strap again.   Only this time, it really went.  There’s no way that people sitting next to me couldn’t see her entire boob hanging out.

It was easily the entire length of one stop to another before she picked up the strap.  But she did it totally casual without even taking her eyes off the magazine.  I don’t think she “felt the breeze” at all.

I kept waiting for another woman on the train to say something to her.  There’s no way in hell a guy is going to say anything.  For one, it is against our DNA to do so, and secondly that is a line we never cross.

I just assumed it was part of the “girl code” to tell each other when your boob is hanging out, regardless of being strangers.  Right?

I swear fat people gravitate toward me

I don’t know what it is.  Maybe god id punishing me for talking about fat people on SUBWAYblogger.

Lord knows the haters start bashing away in the comments every time I bring up the subject.

So before I get into the point of this post, let me say a few things for the record

  1. No, I don’t hate fat people.  I just think that they need to recognize that they are fat and that other people shouldn’t have to be impacted by someone else’s girth.
  2. I’m not insensitive.  I just tell it the way it is.  Sugar coating is for babies.
  3. I know…just because your fat doesn’t mean you a bad person.  I get it, and I agree.  So just relax.

I know some of you won’t be able to help yourselves.  You’ll need to rail on me in the comments.  Have at it.  You know I never censor the comments.Read More »

“Sorry, I don’t know you.”

I witnessed a funny encounter today on the subway.

It was just a typical morning like usual.  The train was fairly crowded.

There was a girl sitting down and another girl standing in front of her with her iPod in reading a book.  The girl sitting down looked up, and with a somewhat puzzeled look on her face when she saw the other girl.

“Hey Stephanie,” the girl sitting down said.

She said it a few times because “Stephanie” didn’t hear her due to the iPod.  Finally, she did and popped out a an earbud.

“Sorry, I’m not Stephanie. She’s my sister.”

Turns out that this girl is an identical twin.  The girl sitting down works with the sister apparently.  That’s why she was so confused that this girl didn’t say hello when she was standing right in front of her.

The girl appologized laughed and apologized.  The twin said it was no problem and it happens all the time.

Fat Woman Hissy Fit

So a fat woman and a gay guy walk into a bar.  (Just kidding)

Instead, a skinny gay guy sits down next to a biiiiiiig hunk of woman on the subway.  She’s easily a seat-and-a-halfer.  Her thighs are just spilling over into the seat next to her.

She was all the way at the end of the row, so her other side was oozing out under the bar into the doorway.  I’m not even kidding when I say that people had to be careful walking through the door on that side.  One guy’s leg rubbed up against her and scared the crap out of him.  It startled him as he got off the train.

Anyway, big momma is reading the paper.  The New York Times I believe, surprisingly not the Food section.

So skinny gay guy is just minding his own business.  He’s a little squished in his seat, but doesn’t seem to mind.  He’s reading a book and listening to an iPod.

Then, big momma goes to turn the page.  She nearly smacks him in the face.  She’s so round, she can hardly get her hands around in front of her.  The bottom of the paper keeps getting hung up on her breasts as she tries to fold the page back.  So with each page turn, she’s flapping her flippers arms out and getting all in the gay guy’s business.

To his credit, he didn’t say anything the first two times she did it.  He just made a face and rolled his eyes.  People around us were smiling, trying not to laugh because she made a big deal about every turn of the page.

On the third turn, she bumped his book.  The pages of her newspaper were covering his book as she was turning the page.

Finally, he had enough.  Read More »