Back to the dry cleaner

I enjoy a nice, crisp, white dress shirt as much as the next guy I guess.  I don’t really think about them much other than when I immediately get a stain or mark on them before even getting to work.

That happened to me this morning thanks to the damn rubber gaskets on the subway doors.

Of course, it was all because of a damn baby stroller.  I have railed and railed against open baby strollers on the train before, and many of you have said I am being to hard.

Well, first let’s just get the facts straight.  The MTA says that strollers are supposed to be folded up and closed when riding the train.

Anyway, the train was somewhat crowded this morning.  We came to a stop, and this mother started to get off the train.  She got a bit of a late start in her move for the for the door.  I was standing near the door, so I took a step out half way onto the platform.  I was blocking the door open so she could get off with the stroller.

Just as she got clear of the doors, they started to close.  Right into my back.

For the rest of the day, I had a very straight, very neat black line down the left side of my back.

Sick Passenger Terminates 2 Line

Was anyone on the 2 train Thursday morning when it started terminating “because of a sick passenger”?

I truly hate that bullshit.  Get the damn sick passenger off the train and let’s get moving.  I don’t understand why an entire line has to come to a screatching halt because someone pukes on a train.  Even if the person had a heart attack, wouldn’t you want to get them off the train and upstairs as quick as possible?

That morning, my 2 train terminated at 42nd Street Time Square.  Are you kidding me?  That’s the biggest stop in the system and that’s where you are going to terminate?  The kicker was the sick passenger was all the way down at Chambers Street.

There has to be a better way to deal with this crap.

Escalators: Walk on the Left, Stand on the Right

If you miraculously find a working escalator somewhere in the New York City subway system…

1) Alert us immediately.  They are, in fact, an endangered species
2) Walk on the left side, and stand on the right.  Don’t be a dick and stand in the middle, or next to your girlfriend.

Folks, it’s a simple concept.  If you’re feeling a little lazy, had a rough night, have a bum leg, whatever…stand on the right side of the escalator.  Allow those of us that would like to walk on the left side to pass you.

If you want to ride all the way from top to bottom, no problem  Knock yourself out.  Just keep right.

Don’t believe me?  Tomorrow morning, get on the busy escalator and stand still on the left side.  Half way up, turn around and look behind you.  Be careful, you might get smacked.

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Backpack Wearing Douchebags

Let’s just be clear, if you’re wearing a backpack on a crowded subway train at rush hour, you are a douchebag.  Period.  There’s no defense.

Secondly, if you are a grown man wearing a backpack for any reason (at any time) that doesn’t have something to do with hiking or camping, you are also a douchebag.

I know, “the backpack” is a new Euro-trend that’s been getting more and more popular for expense account hipsters.  I get it.  However, there’s a cool way to pull it off, and there’s a way to not deserve D-BAG stamped on your forehead.  Allow me to explain.

Ever been riding the train on a busy morning when some jackass gets on with his backpacked locked and loaded on his back as if he’s about to scale the outside of the New York Times building?  You’d notice him right way because every time he turns to the left or right, his backpack smacks into you.  Read More »

Striking Similarity or Pink Copycat

You Be the Judge…

Fat People:

Subway Gal and Here
SUBWAYblogger
and Here

Homeless:
Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger and Bums Category

Sleeping on Subway:
Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger

Emergency Exits
Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger

Pee
Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger

Fare Increase, Same Crappy Service
Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger

Heat and Air Conditioning
Subway Gal
SUBWAYblogger and Here (same headline) and Here

I mean, I’m just sayin’.  🙂

Are people being pissy more than normal?

I feel like I am running into the most bitchy people on the subway lately.  I mean this week!

There seem to be an especially high number of moody bitches causing problems on the train.  For what ever reason, it has still be crowded in the morning even though many schools are off this week.  So I don’k know what the deal is, but the trains are more crowded than ever this week.

On that note, people think if they cause a scene, somehow it is going to make things move quicker.

Have you noticed anything?

Back Off

Can I just say that the women who leap over people to dive on an open seat need to freaking relax. I mean seriously.

Ok here’s the profile of the people I generally speak of:

Female
18-34 Years Old
Usually White
Skinny
iPod Wearing
Attitude

The skinny aspect is critical to the scenario because these women jump at even the smallest seat. There could be a sliver of seat showing between two fairly large people, and these women will knock people over to get it.

Anyway, I generally don’t sit. I stand for the whole ride unless it happens to be a really slow transit day. Even when I am literally standing in front of an open seat, and I wont take it because there’s going to be someone that either needs it more or wants it more than me. So I generally move out of the way.

So if you want the empty seat in front of me, all you gotta do is ask me to move so you can get by me. There’s no need to duck under my arm and slam me in the ribs with your hug purse.

Side note, when the shit you are carrying is bigger than your lap, you can’t hold it on your lap or attempt to navigate a crowded train. Just stand where you’re at, and don’t move. Above all else, don’t get pissed when people bump into you because you have a 50 cubic foot purse.