Totally Off My Game

Subway Doors Graffiti

Wow was I off my subway game today.

I swiped at the turnstile and walked right into the bar.  My Metrocard expired and I totally forgot.  So like an idiot, I had to squeeze back out and get one.

Then the Metrocard machine I went up to was not working for some reason.  It wouldn’t read any of my credit cards.  So I had to try another one.

When I finally got through, I got to the bottom of the stairs just as the train was leaving.

Once a train came, and I got on board, I was completely out of my normal position.  I kept getting caught in the flows of people getting off at each stop.  Normally I get into a spot where I can stand still all the way with minimal movement.  This time, it was in a different spot after each stop.  Annoying.

Then at my stop, I walked all the way to the end of the concourse only to find that my normal exit was closed off for construction.

It was an all around nightmare.  Glad its day one.

Multiple Turnstiles on the Fritz

Turnstile

Did you ever walk into the subway station an notice that a lot of people (including yourself) are having trouble swiping through the turnstile?

I’ve seen it happen three or four times before, and had it happen to me.

We’re regular New Yorkers that swipe through the turnstile everyday without problem.  Then all of a sudden, you try to swipe through just like any other day and you get the dreaded “Please swipe again at this turnstile.”  You swipe again…nothing.  Again…nothing.  Then on the fifth or sixth try, it works.   What the hell was that?  It’s like you’re a clueless tourist or something.

That happened today, but it wasn’t just me.  It seemed that people were having issues at all the turnstiles.  We were all looking at each other like, “Are we being punked here?”

I mean, people were getting through, but it took everyone swiping a few times each.

Slightly Embarrassing Turnstile Moment

I’m going to open myself up to a ton of criticism here, because I’m sure I probably made fun of someone for this at some point in the past.  Here we go anyway…

So I got a new work bag to carry my laptop and whatnot.  My other one started to rip where the shoulder strap attached to the bag itself.  Loved that bag, but after 4 years, it had served its useful life.

I bought a new one that arrived on Friday.  It’s really nice and I love it.  For what I paid, I better love it.

It’s professional gear.  Really high quality and durable because I definitely beat the crap out of my work bags.  So I don’t mind making a hefty investment in one that will last.

Anyway, it is a bit more ridged than my last one.  It has more structure, so it doesn’t squish what’s inside.

Just for reference (and you’ll see why in a moment) it is a single shoulder carry case that hangs down next to your hip.  You see hundreds of similar bags every day of your life.

So I go to swipe through the turnstile as usual.  Unfortunately, I got stuck.  Yeah I know, stuck.

My new bag is about an inch too wide to fit through the turnstile perpendicularly.  So I got half way through and got jammed.  I had to take the shoulder strap off, turn around, and pop my bag out.

It was suspended in mid air because it was wedged between the left and right side of the turnstile.  Oops.  Wide load coming through.

So now I have to consciously remember to turn it parallel each time I go though.  It’s gonna take a while to get used to.  I’m sure I will look like an idiot a few more times before I really remember.

Nothing Better than Perfect Timing

I know I’ve said it before, but it excites me I guess.  Yeah, I’m a huge dork.

Nothing is better than flawless subway timing.  You walk into the station, and just as you swipe through the turnstile, the train arrives.

You hop right on, and hell, there might even be an open seat.  You fly through all the stops to the point where you make a connection.  What do you know, right across the platform is your connecting train already waiting.

You get to your final stop so early, you can take your time getting to work.  Maybe you even have time for a more complicated order at Starbucks.  Heck, you’ve got all this extra time to kill now.

How sweet it is.

Dropped like a sack of taters

Today I witnessed probably one of the coolest things I think I’ve seen on the subway to date.

There was a small group of teenage kids standing just outside the turnstiles.  You could tell just by looking at them that they were up to no good.

Couldn’t really tell how old they were.  I’m guessing they were about 14 or 15 years old.  They were all pretty tall.  One was probably 6 feet tall.  But they looked young.  Really lanky.  Frankly, it was almost comical because they were really tall, super skinny, but had huuuuuuuuuge baggy pants and hoodies on.  Like all three of them could have fit into the same pair of pants at the same time.

Anyway, one of them made a dash for it to skip out on the fare and hop the turnstile.  They didn’t realize that leaning against the wall was a cop, just out of their view.

The cop ran over just as the second one was going over.  Both of the kid’s feet were in mid air when the cop went two hands on.  He snatched him out of mid air and in one clean motion dropped him chest first onto the ground.  It was amazing.

The kid that made it over already took off running.  The other kid who had not yet attempted the jump took off out of the station.  So two got away, but the look on their faces was priceless.

Cuffs on.  Game over.

The Price of Being a Cheapskate Just Went Up

NYC Subway Turnstile

Ever thought of just jumping the turnstile when your Metrocard stopped working for some unknown reason?  You know you have plenty of cash/rides left on it, so it must be something wrong with the machine.  So screw it, just jump over and move on with your life.

Well, that little maneuver is going to cost you a lot more if you get caught.  The price of bouncing over the bar is now one-hundo ($100), and the new price kicked in Monday.

It used to cost you $60, but apparently that was too affordable for the homeless guys and neighborhood teens that just jump over without even a hesitation.  So upping it to $100 ought to do the trick.

They even have a special division of court that handles fare jumpers, called the Transit Adjudication Bureau.  Aka TAB.