There’s something about eating on the subway that just seems so wrong to me. I guess, in it self, there isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s just weird.

There’s a group of women across from me eating McDonald’s chicken sandwiches. The food smells good, but who wants to eat it on the train?

That’s like saying, “Yeah lemme take this slice of pizza to-go so I can eat it in the Port-a-pottie.”

The disturbing part is the close proximity to germs I guess. Granted, a table inside McDonald’s probably isn’t a whole lot cleaner but still. Also, I’d be affraid that a hungry homeless guy was going to mug me for my McNuggetts.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Business meetings around town are a nice opportunity for me to branch of onto other subway lines which I normally don’t get to ride.

Today, I’m on the 3 train. I find myself asking why the MTA didn’t upgrade these trains when they upgraded the 2 trains. Not that there is anything wrong with the old 3’s. They just aren’t anywhere near as nice as the new 2 train.

The 2 and 3 are definitely the business trains. There are more suits on this line than any other line I’ve seen. The 1 train seems to have more students and average Joes on board. The express lines are the popular Wall Street lines. Therefore, more suits.

What always cracks me up is the mile long line for cabs outside Penn Station. Instead of waiting for ever, just walk a block and hail your own cab!

….Or take the subway of course. Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Well this ride has started off like hell. The first train that came thru didn’t even stop. It was a pass through train. This usually only happens when a line gets VERY backed up. The dispatcher will have a train or two skip some stops in an effort to get back on schedule. Anway, one of those passed right my me.

Then, when a train finally did stop, we sat there for 5 minutes trying to close the doors. I really thought the conductor was going to come out and open fire. He was getting really pissed.

They must have tried to close the doors a dozen or so times before people actually got out of the way.

If the train doors close on your ass more than once, that should be a sign that you need to get off and wait for the next train. Face it, you aren’t going to get less fat in the next 30 seconds. The people on the train already aren’t going to change their minds about being smothered by your girth. So, put your flashers on, and back your ass back out of the train so the rest of us can get to work on time.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

99% of the time, I stand on the subway. Not because I am against sitting or anything. There’s usually no room to sit anywhere, so I tend to stand against the door.

Thanks to today’s holiday, there’s next to know one on board. So as I write this, I am actually sitting!

At this point, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Holy crap, I can’t believe I actually read this far and that’s all I get.”

Yeah, sorry. But for me, this is the highlight of my miserable day.

Better drama to come on Tuesday. Promise!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Ok, so the headline is a bit more flamboyant than I intended. Just try to ignore it.

Anyway, I did not even realize that today was Columbus Day! The subway system is so nice and quiet. Federal offices, schools, etc are closed today so there are about 1/3 the people waiting for the train this morning.

Walking to the subway, I noticed a few restaurants bringing their cardboard trash back inside. They must have forgotten that there’s no trash pickup today because of the holiday.

I’d imagine that things are going to get much busier around noon today on the 4, 5, 6 line. The parade goes up 5th Avenue and starts at 11:45 this morning.

So if you have business or plans on the East Side this afternoon, be sure to leave yourself plenty of extra time.

Looking around the train right now, everyone is reading about Joe Torre (Yankees Manager) as if he died. Listen, even if the guy does get shown the door, he still had a good run. Yet, for whatever reason, people are reading the paper with depressed faces. Get over it! I really hope this has nothing to do with it, but it looks like most of the men on the train are wearing black. in other news, North Korea is blowing up nuclear weapons, so I think NEW YORK should be worried about other things.

The papers say it was just a “small” nuclear weapon. Grrrreat. Like that makes it better. How small was it? Just smal enough to pack in a Macy’s bag and take on the subway? Yeah, definitely more important things to worry about than the Yankees.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Sure, is kinda sucks that summer is over. It’s definitely getting cooler outside. Actually, it is getting straight up cold out.

The upside is that the subway platforms are now a few degrees cooler than the center of hell.

I was standing on the platform today and felt pretty comfortable. For the first time in a while, I didn’t feel like I was slowly suffocating.

I find it funny how in the summer time, the last place on earth that you would want to stand is on a 104 degree platform. In the winter, it is the complete opposite.

In the winter, it gets so cold that your ears actually feel like they are burning. So, in the freezing tundra, the subway is a oasis. The entire time you are walking, you keep saying to yourself in your head, “Can’t wait for the subway. Can’t wait for the subway. Almost there…”

Well folks, it is almost that time again. Goodbye summer, welcome winter.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…