Category: Outta the Way
Not looking forward to the holiday rush
As I stand in this already over crowded subway car, I can’t help but dread the coming holiday rush. Starbucks has already rolled out the red coffee cups! So you know that means it is downhill from here.
Soon, the out of town shoppers will be here. They will start to invade the transit system. Just being there isn’t really the problem. I think most of us can handle the crowds. Instead, the problem is their complete lack of direction.
The out of town shoppers don’t normally ride the subway so they have no idea where to go. They can’t tell uptown from downtown…an express from a local. It is a nightmare all because they stop right in the middle of everything to figure out where they are going. They don’t know to squish together when the train is crowded. They walk 4 people wide down the halls at very slow paces.
All together it slows the entire system down. That is why I call on YOU to inform these people. Help tell them where to go so we can get things moving! Otherwise, we will all suffer.
Live from the subway, back to you in studio…
What the hell is up lately
The trains are straight up retarded this week. I’m standing here waiting for the train that the annoucer just said is 5 stops away still.
I’m going to have to claw my way onto this train if I plan on getting home before the sun comes up again. All week it has been like this. One disruption after another. I don’t think I have had a good transit day at all this week.
A double wide baby stroller. You have got to be shitting me! This woman is yelling at people because she is standing in THE DOORWAY with her double wide stoller. She also has on one of thos strap on baby carriers with an infant in it. AAAaaAand another kid who is old enough to walk. Holy crap I wish I had a camera. You wouldn’t believe it until you see it.
Lady, it is rush hour. And the trains are messed up today anyway. People couldn’t fit even if your big as stroller wasn’t here. So what the hell do you expect when you pull this crap.
And here’s a novel idea…
You’re what? 26 years old? How about you close your legs and stop popping out kids. You’ve got 4 of them and the oldest is 6 years old TOPS.
Turns out the ones in the double stroller are twins. Fantastic.
Ok…who’s for a no kids OR no stroller law during rush hour? Throw that out there, and I will vote for you no matter how crazy you are.
Live from the subway, back to you in studio…
Much better
My post about this morning’s insanity drew some touchy feelings. Not so much about the transit problems themselves, but more so about my suggestion of a pay-per-pound fair.
I’m not against “big” people, but I am against fat people who act like they deserve all the extra space they take up.
For example, this fat guy across from me now. He’s probably 20 years old and 400lbs. When an old woman got up from her seat, he could not have moved any faster to take the seat. Now, there are other old people, women, kids, etc on this train, but he dove for it as if a twinkie were about to hit the floor.
Now he is sitting there with an attitude because the guy next to him won’t scoot over so his fat ass can ooze into the next seat. THAT I have a problem with.
And the woman with the ass in the door this morning was holding the entire train up because she thought other people should squeeze in. NO! Your ass is the problem. So get off and wait your turn. And yes, you will gave to wait for 2 people to get off so you can fit in. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.
Live from the subway, back to you in studio…
At least I did not have to kill anyone
When it takes 4 trains going by before you can get on one, you know it is going to be a long day.
A broken rail at the 28th Street station threw thousands od us for a loop this morning. Trains were being redirected all over the place.
As a result, there were no trains at my staion for over 20 minutes. When the trains finally did start to come, they were already at capacity. People further up the line already had filled the train. By the time it reached me, only 3 more people could fit into each car. 3 more people out of a couple thousand waiting on the platform.
A train pulls up. A handful squeeze on. Another train pulls up, a couple more get on. I finally made it onto the 5th train.
I love how people show up on the platform and think they are going to get on the train before you when you have already been there 30 minutes. Back of the line pal!
One woman finally got shoved off the train because her ass was litterally blocking the doors. They kept closing, and her butt was so big that it got stuck. Finally, a guy gave her a hip check which made her step out. Then the doors closed with no problem.
Again, I say when one of your ass cheeks weighs more than a 12 year old, you should have to pay double or tripple the fare. The MetroCard machines should have scales in front of them. Pay by the pound!
Live from the subway, back to you in studio…
Early stress test
If you’ve been a regular reader of SUBWAYblogger, then you may have noticed a pattern. The pattern I am refering to is a regular Wednesday hatred of annoying young people.
On Wednesdays, I need to be at work especially early, so I end up on the subway with kids going to school.
This little bitch next to me needs an attitude adjustment. She’s acting like I’m all up in her space.
Somehow, 3 grown men can stand shoulder to shoulder in the doorway. It’s a little cramped, but not terrible. So right now I have a 10 year old on my left, and this 16 year old bitch on my right, and she’s acting like she is being suffocated.
Finally, I turned to her and said, “I don’t really give a shit. If you want more room, go somewhere else on this packed train.”
For some reason, being in high school makes these idiots think that they can do what ever the hell they want. They are always so shocked when someone knocks them down a peg or two.
Live from the subway, back to you in studio…
Peevs
There’s a bunch of talk in the blog-o-sphere about subway peevs. AKA stuff that other riders do that bugs the crap out of you.
So, seeing as I am in the subway, I thought I would list a few.
1). Super old people. Yes, the elderly have a right to be on the train. However, if you can’t hold up your own head, it is time to take a cab. Or at least take the bus.
2). People who wear earplugs. Did you ever notice these people? “The subway it to loud for my sensitive ears.” Shut up and grow a pair.
3). People that have to stand in the middle. These are the people that get on board and frantically run for the isle. They are willing to climb over people so that they don’t have to stand in the doorway.
4). Strollers. Don’t even get me started on the damn baby strollers.
5). Super shoppers. These are the people that have 8 oversized shopping bags. They just came from the Container Store and they have coffin sized boxes they want to carry on the train.
6). White kids that dress like black kids. You’ll never be as cool or as hardcore as the black kids so just stop it.
7). The British. Not cool British people. Just the ones that bitch about everything. If you want to complain, go back to England. Besides, you have your own subway.
I could continue, but I feel a hate crime coming on.
Live from the subway, back to you in studio…
Mmmm Times Square on a Saturday Night
Talk about the party thay never ends. Or should I say, the freak show that never ends. I was dragged to Chevy’s in Times Square for dinner. Normally, I don’t enjoy a chain restaurant in the city. There are just so many other good places. But, I figured what the hell, I hadn’t been to TS in a while.
Well, the subway in TS is usually crazy enough on a weekday. On the weekends, especially weekend nights, it is a complete hell hole. Wall-to-wall tourists and homeless people out to panhandle. The tourists have no ideah where they are going. They just wander.
Folks from out of town, I understand that NYC can be a bit much for you to handle…especially if you have never been here. However, this is the most important tip I could ever give you. Ready?
WALK. Don’t stop. Just keep f*cking WALKING.
Walking behind Bertha’s fat ass while trying to catch a train makes we want to scream. One foot in front of the other lady.
That’s it. Move.
Also, New Yorkers will stop to help you with directions. Just get out of the damn way first! We have trains to catch too.
Live from the subway, back to you in studio…
Where did you come from?
How is it that you could get to the platform every day at the exact same time and have different crowds each time? Allow me to ellaborate.
I get to my local platform everyday at the exact same time (like right now). Yet today for some reason, there are hundreds of extra people! I always assumed that it was because the trains are not running on time. Turns out, that’s not the case at all. Today I asked the guy in the booth if the trains were running on time. He said they were and had no reasoning for the extra volume. Its not like my stop is a major junction either. No other lines or trains would be dumping passengers here.
So what’s the deal? Where in the hell did all of you come from? Know what…I don’t care. Just get out of my way.
OHHH aaaand another thing:
Ladies- get you damn baby strollers out of my way. What the hell are you thinking bringing that double wide, hospital bed sized thing down here during rush hour. Thanks to that, you are taking up room for 3 extra people!
The fact that kids and strollers are allowed on for free is bull. During peak times, there should be a “you’re taking up too much effing room tax.”. Seriously. Maybe then, a few more of us could get to work on time.
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