Category: This just in

MTA Not “Turned On” by City Condoms

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rubber.jpgThe MTA is totally pissed that the City Health Department is planning to release subway themed condoms.  For that matter, they aren’t sure if that is even legally allowed since the “brand” belongs to the MTA.  As you may recall, the city wants to release “fun” NYC rubbers for free to help combat the city’s HIV/AIDS problem.

The Transportation Board claims that they never saw any type of proposal for the condoms.  Oops.

“I don’t think it’s the appropriate thing for the MTA to be involved with,” board member Frank Powers said. “We have enough trouble servicing our clients, doing the right thing, making sure the buses are on time … that’s what the MTA’s mission is.”

Agreed. When you think “reliable brand,” the MTA is not one that jumps to mind right away. 

Then the Straphangers throw this one in the MTA’s face:

And Gene Russianoff of the Straphangers Campaign questioned the effectiveness of linking the subways and condoms.

“Whose going to want a subway-themed condom?” Russianoff said. “Why the subways? It does raise in my mind issues about whether they [the condoms] will work.”

Ohhh ZING!  How ’bout that little dig. Hahaha. 

City Sponsored Shagging

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Available soon from City Hall: an official New York condom in a jazzy wrapper, perhaps one printed with a colorful subway map or some other city theme.

That’s right, the city rubber is almost here.  We blogged about it a few weeks back, and honestly forgot all about it.  Heck, who thought it would actually happen.  As noted above, some wrapper themes might include subway stuff.

Here’s our idea:

Wrappers:  Mark them with the subway line icons.  You know, the big red circle with a 1, 2, or 3 on them for the red line.  Have one version for all the lines, that way everyone in town has a connection.

The condom:  Then, make the actual condom look like a train!!!  Think about it…go ahead.  Close your eyes.  Get it?  When the condom gets rolled out, it will look like a meat train.  How awesome would that be?  This train is headed “downtown.” 

They’d sell out of these bad boys in a week. 

Wesley Autrey is at the State of the Union as a guest of the President

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Oh my lord, do my eyes deceive me?  Wesley Autrey was just recognized by President Bush at the State of the Union Address!  This story has really taken off.

As you may recall, Autrey jumped onto the subway tracks to save a guy that had a seizure.  He wasn’t able to move the guy out of the way in time, so he laid down on top of him as the train rode of the two of them.  Both men made it out of there with no more than a few scratches.

First it took over the local media, then the national media took hold, now the President is recognizing him (again) at the STATE OF THE UNION.  Talk about a life changing move.  SUBWAYblogger had the story right away.  However, we saw readership of the story skyrocket days later as the story got national press attention.

This guy was just doing what he thought was right, and now he’s being recognized around the world.  Simply amazing.  Every politician wants to get their picture taken with this guy. 

Subway ridership IS up! Ha…we knew it.

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tokenbooth.jpgGotta love it when our random blurbs about how extra crowded the trains seem to be are validated by the legit press.  The NY Sun reports that many neighborhoods are seeing huge surges in subway ridership! 

In other words, our random (complete lack of coffee) babble about the crowds this morning wasn’t as crazy and incoherent as we first thought. Turns out, SUBWAYblogger was only semi B.S.-ing our way though this morning’s post.  Sweet.

Anyway, many “little” stations that used to only see a few hundred riders a day are now seeing thousands of people wander through their turnstiles. 

At that station, ridership has soared to 1,771 people a weekday entering the turnstiles to access trains on the J, M, and Z lines, compared to just 308 passengers who passed through the station during a weekday in 1995.

The Sun says that much of the increase has to do with parking lots disappearing on the outer rims of the city.  So, more and more riders are turning to the trains.

Stand between trains to pee, and you will DIE

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ridingbetweencars.gifOuch…is that headline too harsh? Anyway…

Apparently, it is not possible to levatate between train cars as the MTA warning sticker pictured here illustrates.

An old homeless Veteran, Jose Montanez, died on the 6 train down at City Hall. Apparently, he had stayed on the train after leaving the last stop at the end of the line. The Sun reports that the guy was standing between train cars peeing when the train made a sharp turn.

When the trains turn or come to stop, the cars get much closer together. It is feared that he got stuck between the trains, and then fell on the tracks to his death.

So MTA, can we open up a few more bathrooms for these guys? You know they are just going to pee everywhere anyway, so can we at least give them some mildly maintained bathrooms to use in the mean time?

Update: Electronic Signs

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Well, it turns out there was a truth to the headline SUBWAYblogger wrote the other day.

The test went…umm…ok? Oh screw it, the signs didn’t work correctly. The signs regularly overestimated the arrival times of the trains!

The crazy part of the story is that the signs won’t make their way to the other subway lines until 2008 or 2009. Wow…talk about not holding your breath. By the time they get these bad boys up and running, the the Tube in London will have a few dozen plasma screens on each platform. The Tokyo subway will beam the location of the next train automatically to your cellphone in real time. Then, there will be NYC, with our hardly reliable, two line, LED screens. Sweet.

To add insult, other lines aren’t ever going to get the signs:

…there is no plan to extend the notification signs to the lettered subway lines, whose nicknames — “Forever” for “F,” “Never” for “N” and “Rarely” for “R” — indicate that such signs might just encourage riders to surface and walk or take a taxi.

Mmm…nice.

Your train will arive in 3 minutes…ummm give or take 3 minutes.

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The electronic message boards have finally arrived on the L line. They aren’t fully operational just yet, but they are being tested. As a matter of fact, many of them are lit up already. You can see what they look like.

Unfortunately, the information displayed isn’t necessarily accurate yet.

“With the introduction of this new system, garbled subway messages are on their way to becoming a thing of the past along the L line and eventually the entire system,” Metropolitan Transportation Authority CEO Elliot Sander said.

The signs were supposed to be up and running back in July. What a shock…didn’t happen. But any week now, they will be up and running in full force. Next step? Outfitting the entire subway system. Let’s hope it all works before 2015.

Random Stabbing on J Train in Brooklyn

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stabbing.jpgFollowing up on what we posted earlier, there was a stabbing on the J train in Brooklyn. However, the victim is 17 years old, not 15 as we previously had heard.

At this point, there isn’t much else that is known. Police say they may have a suspect in custody.

The weapon was a scary looking filet knife, about 8 inches long and curved.

The kid that was stabbed is in critical condition.

How he got stabbed is anyone’s guess at this time. The police aren’t really letting much information out, so that’s it for now!