Author: subwayblogger

Wake up and pay attention

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You all know this person. They are the ones that wait for the last possible second to get off the train and then get pissy that people are in their way.

Usually, this person is completely zoned out. Then all of a sudden, they notice that the express train they want is across the platform. So, in a panic, they jump to their feet.

“GETTING OFF! I’M COMING OUT!”

Yeah buddy, we noticed, but where were you 5 minutes ago when everyone around you got up?

So if you screw up because your iPod is cranked as high as it will go, and you don’t realize we are at your stop, don’t be retarded. One of these days (as I’m sure it has already happened) someone is going to get decked by the person they are trying to plow through. In the worst case, you just get off at the next stop and change directions.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio… .

Suitcases Everywhere

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Holy suitcases batman!  Where the hell is everyone going today?

Everywhere I look, there’s people with suitcases trying to get onto the subway.  I guess everyone is getting out of dodge for the weekend.  Maybe they figured that they would avoid the Memorial Day weekend traffic and just go the next weekend. 

I love how women pack massive suitcases that weigh more than they do just to go on a weekend trip.  There they stand, helplessly at the bottom of the stairs waiting for guys to come by and help them out.

Here’s a tip:  If that’s your game plan, you’d better be cute.  If you’re not at least a little attractive, good luck getting someone to stop and help you in the peak of the early morning commute.  This is especially true of you’ve got a bag packed with every pair of shoes you own (all 300 pairs) because you never know what you might need to wear in the 2 days you plan to be away from your apartment. 

There was a line of women waiting at the elevator at pen station.  There were so many, and their bags were so big, that they had to wait and go in shifts. 

I saw at least a half a dozen people getting on and off the trains with big rolling bags at EVERY stop this morning.  That’s just what I could see from my train car, so I am sure there were plenty more.  Hope there’s not something I should know about this weekend!

School of Visual Arts

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Well, there’s no crazies on the train this morning…at least that I am aware of. And I didn’t see anything out of the ordinarty either.

So that’s usually when I start to look around the train a little carefully. The subway billboard ads are where I look first.

I’ve seen the School of Visual Arts ads before, and now I’m starting to appreciate them more. They themselves are interesting art works. I especially enjoy the one that has the pens, pencils, paintbrushes, etc attached to a computer mouse.

I also like their slogan, “How bad do you want to be good?” It’s kinda badass.

Anyway, the bigger point is that if you are going to spend an ass load of cash on buying subway ads, you better make the look good. There’s so many that just flat out suck. For example, just about all of the MTA’s ads. So if you are going to make me stare at your ad for my whole ride, you better make it memorable!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio… .

Free Gum at the Subway

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Stride Gum

They are handing out free gum samples at the entrances to the subway today.  At first, it’s like “Ooo…free goodies!”  Then you realize, “Wait, am I taking candy from a stranger?”

Stride Gum.  Flavor:  Winterblue.  This is the most ghetto looking gum packaging I’ve seen.  Honestly, I thought it might be a gag.  It was a 4 piece sample pack.  The girl handing them out gave me 3 packs with the rubber band still around them.  I think she was just trying to unload here quota so she could get the hell out of there.

Anyway, like I said, pretty fake looking packaging.  However, when you look at the Stride gum website, it’s pretty good!  I mean their site is really interactive.  Has sort of a movie/secret laboratory thing going on.

The slogan is, “Ridiculously long lasting flavor,” or something like that.  Maybe that’s why they only give you 4 pieces…they might last all week.

So anyway, now I’m saddled with a product that I’m not sure if I should be enjoying or not.  Turns out, the gum is legit.  But it’s just handed to you by a complete stranger standing at the entrance to the subway.  Who the hell knows what’s really in the package.  Of course, that didn’t seem to stop many people.  There they all are, chomping away as they wait for the train.

Am I the only one that’s a little freaked by eating something like that?  Then again, I guess getting treats from strangers is the whole basis of Halloween.

Tallest man ever

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I’m standing near the tallest man I have ever seen! How he rides the train is amazing to me.

He’s so tall that his shoulders touch the ceiling just inside the doors. He doesn’t just have to bend is neck a little to avoid hitting his head. He has to all out bend over!

On this kind of train, the ceiling is about 8 inches lower where the doors are. One you move into the middle of the isles, it is higher. So he has to stand there. Even then, he isn’t missing hitting his head by much.

Getting on to this train, he looks like a grown-up trying to climb into the jungle gym at McDonalds. The door clearance is even lower than the ceiling inside.

It must be nuts seeing him go through the turnstile. The bar must hit him in the knees!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio… .

Subway Fashion Fugly

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trouble.jpg

Just about every outfit you see on the subway is a “fashion don’t.” Did you ever find yourself riding the train wondering if you are the only normal looking one on board?

In the winter, it’s cold. People just look like idiots because they are wearing whatever they can to stay warm. In the summer though, people are clearly not thinking, or have simply giving up. To some extent, I can understand giving up when it is a million degrees out.

Anyway, here’s some major fashion don’ts that you’ll find on every train. Sorry ladies, but most of them fall on you.

1. Pants that are 4 to 6 sizes too small. Sorry lady, you shouldn’t be buying the same size jeans you wore when you were 14 years old. Where in the Hispanic and African community did someone decide that it was sexy to barely be able to have your zipper reach the top? Sure, white girls are sometimes guilty too, but they are just plain sloppy. The African and Hispanic ladies wear them with purpose!

2. Women with breasts the size of toddlers that don’t wear bras. Just because the tank-top says “built in bra” doesn’t mean that it can hold 50 pounds of boob meat.

3. Some people just shouldn’t wear sandals. Nuff said.

Dice Man4. Sleeveless tee shirts (guys) where you cut the sleeves off yourself. Fellas, in case you didn’t know, the gym has this thing called a locker room where you can change out of your workout clothes. Also, Andrew Dice Clay wants his outfit back.

5. Strapless tops with non-strapless bras. Wasn’t this a redneck joke? You know you’re a redneck if you wear a strapless top with a bra that isn’t? Well, I swear I have seen a half dozen women like this already this year. Ok maybe a strapless top with a tank top under neath is ok. A little 80’s retro look is cool. But this is an all out BRA.

Strapless6. Sunglasses under ground. Ok, what the hell is this? Why do some women wear those huge chemistry goggle sunglasses on the train? It doesn’t make you look swank or mysterious. The only mystery is whether or not there is a person behind those manhole sized glasses. Honestly, theses sunglasses are getting so big that they could double as welding masks.

I’m sure you have some more of your own, so let’s hear them! Hit up the comments.

Heat evicts bums

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This weekend, New Yorkers saw their first run of hot weather. It wasn’t even that hot, but it was enough to break a good sweat.

It makes SUBWAYblogger dread the first true heatwave. You know it’s coming, and it just sucks to think about it mostly because of the dreadful heat in the subway.

The only nice thing about the subway heat is that it drives most of the homeless guys out of the subway. It is simply to damn hot to make the express platform your livingroom. So, they tend to head for street level.

Consequently, the smell of feet and human crap goes down. So do the obnoxious catcalls by the drunk, perverted ones.

Then again, the unfortunate part is that they end up wandering your neighborhood. They take up all the nice park benches. They root through your trash more.

Here’s hoping that the city finally steps up to address the subway homeless problem. All the local papers keep running articles about how the problem keeps getting worse. Mabye City Hall will finally listen? Doubt it.

After all, we are the only country in the world capable of having over weight homeless people.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

New Digs!

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sb2.gifEhh ehh…how ’bout this? Not too shabby, huh.

For those that didn’t notice, SUBWAYblogger’s got some new digs. I complete redesign. The holiday weekend (right at the very end) inspired me to make a major update.

It’s been almost a full year (in August) since SUBWAYblogger was born, so we figured it was time for an update. However, it did not come without major hesitation. We were really in love with out old look, but we thought it was time to grow up.

The old look was a little “beginner” looking…sort of. We made a lot of customized touches, but it still just looked like a side hobby. We’ve decided to try to take this “thing” to the next level, and really do something. We’ve got a very modest following, and we’d like to keep it going. One day, we hope to be one of the better known NYC blogs. We want to be a part of that stable of greatness, and that’s no easy task.

So, first things first, it was time for SUBWAYblogger.com to become a grown-up. Gasp!

We’ll never become a commercialized sellout blog, but turning a buck would not be the end of the world. So, we are aiming to make the site a little more blog advertising friendly.

Last, but certainly not least, we’d like to thank all of our loyal readers, commenters, and even haters. You’re what has made us a minor league success!

Happy blogging.

Subway Smart Cards Now For Buses

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Subway Paypass

The “smart card” system is now being tested on a limited basis with the buses.

But first, a quick refresher on what the hell a smart card is. In short, it’s like easy pass for subway fare. It’s a little keychain bob that you can swipe over a sensor to pay your fare. It’s like your Duane Reade club card that you have on your keychain. If you have Mastercard with “blink” technology, it’s like that too.

The concept basically deducts the fare automatically from a bank or charge account every time you use it to do a touch-less fare swipe. Right now, it is only available along Lexington Avenue, and has been since late 2006.

SUBWAYblogger is hoping that bus testing means good things for the technology getting rolled out to the whole system. It really would be nice to leave the whole MetroCard thing behind, at least for regular riders. However, they have not yet figured out how to handle monthly passes, etc. Right now, the system charges you the full $2.00 fare every time.

I would imagine that they could set up an easy online system to manage your account. For example, every month just automatically charge you to “refill” your unlimited monthly pass. Through the online portal, you could decide how often you want your account recharged.

They could even setup the current MetroCard machines to control your account, sort of like an ATM machine. All you would have to do is dip the card that is tied to your account. Eventually, we could see the day where all you have to do is walk onto the train, and an RFID tag will know you got on, and charge you.