Freddy “Sez”

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been on the subway with a Yankee legend, Freddy Sez. He’s the guy at Yankee Stadium with the lucky frying pan and spoon. He’s there combing the stands every game.

After I published my post last night I transfered trains, and there he was! Fry pan and all.

Anyway, standing on my train on the way to work right now. Nothing interesting to report other than the guy next to me blasting Christian rock out of his iPod. :-/

Here’s my stop…

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Yankees Game Madness

 

Yankees 2  Baltimore 3 A fairly good game even though the Yanks were losing the entire game.Anyway, to the subway…

What I notice immediately is the number of “subway authorities.”. By that I mean guys in Yankees jerseys that attend aproximately two games a year thus earning them the title “lord of the subway directions.”

Their kingdom consists of the third of the train car that they happen to be standing in. In other words, from the nearest door to the next.

Little do the rest of us know that we “dont know what we are talking about.”

When any loyal train car subject suggests an alternate tranfer strategy, subway lord responds with a snappy, “Well, if you want to do it that way…” or “if you like taking the LONG way.”

The irony is that they are complete idiots. I actually just heard this come of of his lordship’s mouth:

“Well its easy. All you gotta do is take the B train down to 59th Street and jump on the uptown 9 train.”

Uhhh dude…there is no such thing as the 9 train anymore. And for that matter you should just get off at the 125th Street station and take the C downtown.  Buuut if you want to take the loooong way, go ahead. Jackass.

Till the morning…

PS – Pink Yankees gear does not make you a fan. It makes you a trophy wife to drag to the game. Just a tip from me to you.

Two-for-One Day: Yankees Game

Today all my loyal SUBWAYblogger readers get a bonus post! [Waiting for the applause to stop]

I’m headed up to the Bronx to catch the Yanks vs Baltimore tonight. I am sure there will be plenty to discuss about those trips. So stay tuned for that. Unforunately, I will be going up there with a buddy so I won’t be able to “live blog” the trip. 😦 I don’t want to reveal my secret identity.

Anyway, I did just see a highschool aged black girl threaten to “slap a white bitch” because the white girl had the nerve to say excuse me she passed her on the stairs.

On and on she ranted about how lucky she was that she didn’t “beat her ass.”. I got behind the punk as she was ranting at the turnstile. Couldn’t help but say out loud, “oooh just shuuut up! No one thinks your a bad ass.”. I got an evil look in return, but she thought better of mouthing off directly at me.

Stay tuned for the post-Yanks wrap up!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Let ’em off people

Gothamist had an interesting story yesterday.  Every now and then, they do an “Ask Goth” feature.  This one was about the subway.

“Here is what happened yesterday, which is pretty typical: I was trying to change to the express train from the local, and as we pulled into the station I saw my train across the platform. I was not the only one. There were a whole bunch of us at the door eagerly waiting to leave the train and jump on the express across the tracks. I just happened to be in front, at the door. So anyway, by the time the doors opened, there was a fair-sized guy standing right in the middle in front of the door, with two other people standing at the sides but just blocking enough of the door so that no one could get out.

So I said “excuse me,” and he did nothing. Not a move by anyone. So, having no choice really (I certainly couldn’t back up, there being all those people behind me, and besides, we want the express!) I had to push between the big guy and the others, at which point he LAUGHED AT ME.”

Read the 100+ responses at Gothamist.

Of course, I have a few ideas on how to solve this:

  1. Do what I do.  As you pull up to the station, get down on the floor like a track star waiting for the pistol to fire.  Or get into the ready position like a football defensive lineman.  Just as the train starts to slow, count down, “Ok here we go.  5…4…3…2…1…GO!”  I promise, there will be no one that stands in your way.
  2. As the train slows, start to get yourself psyched up like a boxer about to go in the ring.  Talk loudly to yourself, “Ok man, let’s do this.  HERE WE GO.  Get fired up!!”  Then start to bounce around.  A little shaddow boxing probably wouldn’t hurt.
    Try this stuff.  If people are still in your way, they are even more nuts than you!

Ahh the calm before the sh*t storm

I have an early meeting this morning, so I am “in the system” (as if it were the matrix or something) earlier than normal. But there is something nice about the calm in the early morning.

There are less people on board, so I am actually able to sit while I write. It also appears that we are moving much quicker. Why is that?

What is a little strange is that 80% of the people in thi car are asleep. Should I be alarmed?

Oh wait, I forgot to mention the toothless dude that go on behind me that keeps screaming “faggot” over and over again. Now does it seem a bit odd that everyone is still sleeping?

I prefer to not assault the annoyingly homeless before 9am…especially if I have a suit on. Of course, I always try to use words first. I will attempt to explain to him why the empty seat across from him is not a “fagot,” but it could get messy.

Till this afternoon!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Transit gods smile upon me

I just walked down the stairs to the platform at the exact moment my train pulled in. I love that! I feel like the “transit gods” have smiled upon me.

“All you suckers [other passengers] stood and waited. Not me! Muaaah ah ahhh”

But as cool as I felt, it was quickly dashed away by the face that I got in a train car without air conditioning. Damn it! All transit-hotshot-coolness just left me. I should have seen it coming though. There’s always something suspicious about a car with lots of open seats during rush hour. Foiled again!

Talk to you in the morning.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

ALERT: NJ Transit Problems

Our NJT riding brothers and sisters are out of luck this afternoon. The Secaucus Junction to/from Penn Station was shut down. But I just heard that it may be coming back online now.

Expect a slightly more crowed subway train around midtown today!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

AM Rain

So it is raining right now as I enter the subway. Not too hard but enough to be annoying. It is funny how people FLIP out when it rains.

I always get a laugh out of the people that huddle around the stairs up to street level. They just stand there, and I assume it is because they are going to “wait it out.” Seriously though, who has that kind of time?

I find the people that wait underground AFTER work to be even stanger. Why not just make a run for it? You are on your way home anyway, so just change out of you wet clothes.

Which brings me to my next subject: umbrellas. At what point is it appropriate for me to punch you in the teeth for dripping your PGA Tour sized golf umbrella all over my suit? Or can I save that for when you decide to walk up the 5 foot wide stairs with the umbrella open, poking eyes out as you go?

And where do the umbrella sales guys keep their umbrellas until it rains? As soon as the first drop hits the pavement, they start popping up all over town.

Anyway, here’s my stop. More this afternoon.

Why are old people in such a hurry to get underground?

Do you ever find yourself looking at the old people on the train with a certain level of shock? Honestly, some of these people are going to kick it at any moment.

My first question is how do these people get down here in the first place? Even a young, healthy person can have a hard time dealing with the insane amount of stairs and walking at some stations. Yet grandma (walker and all) manages to make it.

My next question is how on earth do they survive the heat? As soon as the temp begins to climb, you always hear about the elderly being told to stay inside. All I can come up with is that it feels like Florida to them down here. The sticky 126 degrees must feel like heaven (so to speak).

Then again, the woman I am looking at across from me right now looks like she may have been riding this train for weeks. I think the milk in her grocery bag expired two weeks ago. Guess it is easier to get in than it is to get out.

Live Blogging from the subway…

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The day the music died (from heat stroke)

Know what sucks about the subway in the summer?  (Besides the heat making you seriously consider grabbing the 3rd rail with both hands)  Less subway musicians. 

Because of the heat, there is a serious lack of quality subway entertainment.  Where do these guys go?  Maybe they move out in to the nearby parks.  Personally, I think they are sellouts.  If they are going to advertise themselves as subway musicians, then they better keep their trumpet tooting asses underground. 

You don’t see the homeless guys walking around in the summer claiming to be corporate CEOs.  No no my friend, they keep it real.  It is time that the subway musicians do the same.

Sometimes the only think keeping me from assaulting the woman next to me wearing jeans that she bought 8 sizes ago is the catchy tune of my local keyboard player. 

I look forward to the fall my friends.