Category: Live Blogging On the Subway

So cool

subwayblogger5 Comments

Newsflash. Playing your hiphop ringtones over and over on the train doesn’t make you cool or bad ass. It makes you look like an ignorant jackass.

I’ve seen it over and over. I guess I should say I’ve heard it over and over. It’s like they think they have a portable stereo with them.

They DJ their ringtones like they were mixing at a club. Then they rap along and bounce their heads. Meanwhile, grandma is plotting her esape plan.

Nothing against hip hop, but there’s a time and place for some songs. They hardcore, gangsta versions don’t belong in mixed comapny on a crowded subway.

“Uhhh…gonna fuckin’ kill the bitch…yeeeeah,” shouldn’t be forced upon anyone this early in the morning.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

“Because of an investigation,” strikes again

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Quickly becoming me least favorite phrase in the English language.  They should just change it to, “Because the system is ridiculously fragile,” or “Because it has been a few days since we last inconvenience you…”

As soon as you hear that phrase of the PA system, you might as well bend over and take it in the shorts.  Resisting will only make it harder.  No matter what comes after that phrase, just assume that you are not going to get where you are going on time.  Period.

It could be, “Because of an investigation in Miami, Florida, all express service will be running on the local track.”  It doesn’t matter what comes next.  There’s never a detailed reason.  Meanwhile, they will constantly tell you where the next train is in the opposite direction you are trying to go. 

Yes, please keep telling me where the next uptown train is.  Myself, and the other 1,500 riders on the downtown platform are hanging in suspense.  But keep telling us about that investigation.  Don’t tell us where the hell the next train is, no no.  Keep us guessing.  It’s more fun that way.

Is it silly hat day?

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Did I not get the memo? I know it is cold out, especially the last few days. But the head gear around town is pretty silly.

Looking around this train, it is clear that people could give a damn about how goofy they look as long as their ears are warm. Can’t say I blame them.

SUBWAYblogger is more of a 180’s earwarmer kind of person. Not really a hat person.

It always make me laugh to see a bald man wearing a tight little hat that hugs their dome. If you are one of these guys, stay away from the white winter hats. They make your head look like a…well you know.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

You’re better off staying home

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If you are a rider of the N, R, of F train, you would probably have ended up better off if you called out of work this morning. Holy smokes there were major issues on the East Side this morning.

A broken rail at 59th & Lex sent the East Side’s subway commute into a spiraling ball of flames.  The MTA notice?  Late and descriptive (not) as always:

Due to a rail condition at the Lexington Avenue-59th Street Station:

There is no service on the W train between the Astoria-Ditmars Boulevard Station and the Whitehall Street-South Ferry Station.

In addition, there is no service on the N train between the 57th Street-7th Avenue Station and the Astoria-Ditmars Boulevard Station.

Also, the Manhattan-bound R trains are running on the F line between the 57th Street-7th Avenue Station and the 36th Street Station.

Please expect delays in service on the N, R and F trains at this time.

Plus, Fashion Week is gearing up in Midtown, so that always adds to the overall congestion on the street level.  Good times.

The Sopranos ads take over subway

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Every day it seems that there are more and more Sopranos ads for their debut on AE. You know what…quit toying with my emotions.

As a PAYING HBO subscriber, all I want to know is when the next 3 episode long season will air. This whoring out of HBO programming on cable is starting to bug me.

The campaign they have running on the subway has a sign that only says suitcaseofcash.com on it. Ooooo. How “viral” of them. What an original concept. I wonder what that site could possibly be about.

The subway seems to be a breeding ground for lame attempts at buzz marketing. Like the Secret deodorant ads, Sopranos, 6 Degrees, etc. I think they are missing the point.

Taking over an entire train or station with advertising isn’t buzz worthy. It’s just obvious that you gave a ton of cash to spend on buying worthless billboard ads.

Do a real subway viral marketing plan that is a little more creative. Maybe one that actually doesn’t screem LAME!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio… 

MetroCard Machines for Dummies

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Why is it that whenever you need a new MetroCard, you always find yourself stuck behind a computer retard?

The software on the MetroCard machines is written at a second grade comprehension level, yet people stand there as if they were being asked S.A.T. questions. What’s the hold up?!?

Just touch the thing you want. You aren’t going to get voted off the island if you touch the wrong thing.

The part that screws up most of these whiz kids is the credit card dip. On the screen pops up a message to please insert your credit card. The look of utter confusion on the user’s face makes you want to grab the card out of their hand and do it for them.

All you have to do is stick your damn card in the slot. That’s it! Where’s the mystery? These people stand there as if the machine just asked the for the even numbers only or something.

Meanwhile, four trains have come and gone.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Portable Reading

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Isn’t it great how the Wall Street Journal is now a more commuter friendly size? SUBWAYblogger thinks so.

In case you didn’t notice, the WSJ recently trimmed about three inches or so off the width of the paper. The result is more of a “travel size” version.

The paper claims they did it to make it easier for the typical public transportation user to carry the Journal with them. However, we all really know that it’s the $15 million $18 million + that they will save in paper costs that really inspired the move. Still, it was a great move.

SUBWAYblogger has seen more (or maybe we’ve just been looking more) WSJ’s on the train the past few weeks. How long before the NY edition of the New York Times does the same?

Also, did you catch the Wired Magazine predictions for 2007? They predict that a “major” newspaper will switch to an online only operation this year, leaving their print operation behind.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Can you hear me now?

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cell.jpgYou can always spot a subway newbie when they think they can chat it up on their cellphone. Not so much sweetie.

This girl to my left is completely confused over why she keeps dropping her call. Helloooooooo. We’re a few stories underground. What makes you think you’ll get service down here?

Yeah yeah, we know subways in other cities get cellphone service. However, look around. What part of your surroundings right now screams “technology?”

Maybe it’s the 1930’s lighting that makes you think it will work.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Pumping the brakes

subwayblogger10 Comments

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Some subway drivers make me want to vomit by the time I get off the train. most of thr time, it’s fine, but then there’s the drivers that pump the brakes.

Did you ever notice yourself jerking forward 8 or 9 times as you pull into a subway stop? That’s a brake pumper.

Instead of applying constant, gradual pressure on the brakes, the driver instead brakes and releases. Brakes and releases.

It’s just like riding in a car with someone like that. They see a red light and instead of slowing up, it’s brake and release.

People all over the train start losing their balance, falling all over eachother. The first pump is usually pretty sudden and sharp so straphangers don’t see it coming.

There’s no real reason why the motormen need stop that way. It would be one thing if the tracks were slick, but they do it in all weather.

The best motorment glide the train to a nice gentle stop. That’s when a ride is relaxing and pleasant. A ride on a brake pumper’s train is like riding a bull to work. Grab hold and try to remain upright until we get to the next stop!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Nice chin hair

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Nice chin hair…LADY. Wow. This woman has almost a full beard on her chin. The things you notice when you stand 6 inches from complete strangers…

Know what else is nice? Coughing guy. You know, Mr. “I have bronchitis” and want to stand right in front of you.

Yes sir, please share your wet, throaty, coughing with me. Let ME breathe in all your healthy goodness. Mmm…the taste of flu season.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…