Category: Live Blogging On the Subway

Much better

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My post about this morning’s insanity drew some touchy feelings. Not so much about the transit problems themselves, but more so about my suggestion of a pay-per-pound fair.

I’m not against “big” people, but I am against fat people who act like they deserve all the extra space they take up.

For example, this fat guy across from me now. He’s probably 20 years old and 400lbs. When an old woman got up from her seat, he could not have moved any faster to take the seat. Now, there are other old people, women, kids, etc on this train, but he dove for it as if a twinkie were about to hit the floor.

Now he is sitting there with an attitude because the guy next to him won’t scoot over so his fat ass can ooze into the next seat. THAT I have a problem with.

And the woman with the ass in the door this morning was holding the entire train up because she thought other people should squeeze in. NO! Your ass is the problem. So get off and wait your turn. And yes, you will gave to wait for 2 people to get off so you can fit in. Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

At least I did not have to kill anyone

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When it takes 4 trains going by before you can get on one, you know it is going to be a long day.

A broken rail at the 28th Street station threw thousands od us for a loop this morning. Trains were being redirected all over the place.

As a result, there were no trains at my staion for over 20 minutes. When the trains finally did start to come, they were already at capacity. People further up the line already had filled the train. By the time it reached me, only 3 more people could fit into each car. 3 more people out of a couple thousand waiting on the platform.

A train pulls up. A handful squeeze on. Another train pulls up, a couple more get on. I finally made it onto the 5th train.

I love how people show up on the platform and think they are going to get on the train before you when you have already been there 30 minutes. Back of the line pal!

One woman finally got shoved off the train because her ass was litterally blocking the doors. They kept closing, and her butt was so big that it got stuck. Finally, a guy gave her a hip check which made her step out. Then the doors closed with no problem.

Again, I say when one of your ass cheeks weighs more than a 12 year old, you should have to pay double or tripple the fare. The MetroCard machines should have scales in front of them. Pay by the pound!

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Packed house

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There must be a convention or show in the area this week because the subway is PACKED.

There are way more people riding tonight than normal, and they all look like out-of -towners. They clearly don’t have a clue what they are doing.

It’s obvious who’s from out of town from the moment they get on board. However, one of the biggest giveaways is when the brakes are hit.

As soon as the train’s brakes are used, all of the tourists go flying forward. They don’t know to hold on, and they always lose their balance. The New Yorkers stand still like we never even moved. Not so much for the tourists. They go flying as if there were an earthquake.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Early stress test

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Subway Doors

If you’ve been a regular reader of SUBWAYblogger, then you may have noticed a pattern. The pattern I am refering to is a regular Wednesday hatred of annoying young people.

On Wednesdays, I need to be at work especially early, so I end up on the subway with kids going to school.

This little bitch next to me needs an attitude adjustment. She’s acting like I’m all up in her space.

Somehow, 3 grown men can stand shoulder to shoulder in the doorway. It’s a little cramped, but not terrible. So right now I have a 10 year old on my left, and this 16 year old bitch on my right, and she’s acting like she is being suffocated.

Finally, I turned to her and said, “I don’t really give a shit. If you want more room, go somewhere else on this packed train.”

For some reason, being in high school makes these idiots think that they can do what ever the hell they want. They are always so shocked when someone knocks them down a peg or two.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Let the games begin

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The kids are out! Dressed up and ready to go.

There’s a lot of cute little tikes out, so that’s not bad. Unfortunately, there’s the teens.

I find it funny when 15 year olds dress up as school girls. It’s sort of missing the irony you find when an adult dresses as a school girl. I mean, you REALLY are a school girl in the first place. Pulling your skirt up and showing off your boobs isn’t very original since you already do that to get guys to look at you. Cop out.

So anyway, at least there’s a show on the subway for the day. 1) you get to see which parents really put effort into their kid’s costumes. 2) some of them are fairly funny.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Boo

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costume.jpg

Happy dress like a slut day…I mean…Halloween.

So it is Tuesday and Halloween. This past weekend, there were tons of people in the subway system dressed up. So I don’t anticipate a lot of that today. I think the adults got it out of their systems this weekend instead.

So tonight will probably be the invasion of the little goblins as the youths hit the streets.

Rumor has it that the older kiddies hit the subways to head for the wealthier neighborhoods in search of better loot. Resourceful little punks. There must be a fine line. Some neighborhoods are probably to too snobby to deal with this “low class” holiday. So you don’t want to go to too crazy.

So that’s what I’m affraid of tonight. I recently moved to the block I live on now, and it is really nice. I’m by far the “poor” person in the neighborhood. I’m surrounded by millionaires. Somehow, I managed to get a fab apartment for a steal after the guy that lived there for decades passed away. I don’t pretend that it was skill…just pure luck.

Anyway, in my head, I envision hundreds of children pouring out of my local subway stop to invade the block. Maybe I’m over reacting? We’ll find out.

By the time I get on the train tonight, the kiddies will probably already be on board. I’ll be able to get a better sense then.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Christmas lights

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On of the downsides to daylight savings is that you’ll not see the sun again until the spring.

Walking to the subway from work, it is now completely dark. So, you immediately notice how cool stuff in the city looks lit up at night. However, there’s already Christmas lights up!

There’s nothing wrong with stringing them up now. I mean honestly, who wants to be dealing with those flippin’ things when it’s 2 degrees outside. So yeah, hang them up now. But do we need to turn them on?

I was walking to the subway and I was seeing them all over the place.

In a funny contrast, I ran into Kelly Ripa on the street with her kids (as in Regis & Kelly). She was wearing a black spider thing on her head and her kids were dressed up for Halloween. So we’ve got Christmas lights and Kelly dressed for Halloween? Talk about spooky.

Of course, the subway itself is at an all time freakshow high. More and more adults trying to be kids are running around the system dressed up for Halloween. Women should save their money and just go in their bra/panties. Why bother paying for a slutty costume?

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Happy Monday

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Yes, it’s Monday, but boy that extra hour of sleep feels great! Fall day light savings is a holiday better than Christmas. There’s no better gift than an extra hour of snooze time.

So have you gone to a Halloween party yet? If you haven’t, just walk around the subway for ten minutes and you’ll get your fill. Starting as early as Friday, peeps were out in full costume.

Halloween in New York City is like no other place in the world. People go ALL out on their costumes. Personally, I can think of a few dozen other things I would rather spend $150 on other than a costume.

As for the ladies, I know it is cliche but, Halloween is just an excuse to dress as a complete slut. We should just go ahead and rename it to Whoreoween. Split it into two holidays…one for the kids and one for the adults.

It really is genious when you think about it. No other day of the year would you ever be able to get a girl out in 30 degree weather wearing nothing more than a g-string and slutty nurse top.

Use the comments link below to submit links to your favorite costumes this year.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

Holy crap you need to shut up

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The loud “gangsta glam” bitches next to me need to shut up.

How ’bout that for a lead?

There are 4 girls having the most obnoxious conversation ever. They are sitting across from each other reviewing their party last night. Unfortunately, it is standing room only on this train. So they are talking through the crowd of people standing in front of them.

Two of them are debating whether or not one of the threw up in the sink or in the bathtub. That’s right, yelling this back and forth.

“Bitch, I threw up in the fuckin’ sink yo,” said the one. “Nigga that was the bathtub. Don’t believe me? Yo ask Jo-Jo,” responded the otherone.

Now we are on to what a slut and a bitch Jo-Jo is. Ironically enough, she’s a bitch because SHE is disrespectful. Mind you, she’s dropping the f-bomb every other word while sitting next to some 80 year old grandma on one side, and some little kids on the other. But apparently, Jo-Jo needs to learn some respect before these “hoes” show her what’s up.

Some people just don’t know how stupid they sound.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…

On the LIRR

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I’m sitting on the Penn Station bound LIRR…as promised this time!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I love the subway, but these new LIRR cars are nice! The subway will always be #1, but I still dream of the day when the subway will be this nice.

The difference is like riding an old Red Bird and then getting on a new train on the Lex line.

Anway, the train is EMPTY since it is the middle of the day. Of course, I get in the car with the jackass who talks on his cellphone the whole time.

Buddy, you and me are the only ones in this car. So why do you insist on talking at full volume. Hell, why bother using the minutes, the person on the other end of the line can probably hear you a mile away.

Ok, so I’m gonna go throw his phone out the door at the next stop, and then take a nap in these nice, big seats.

More this afternoon.

Live from the subway, back to you in studio…